So, today I went into the office and when they asked what happened on the drive with the truck, I spun the following yarn.
Ok, so we get to McKnight road with no problem, but then Zak can't find his insurance card. So, we're in his apartment and he and his girlfriend Robin are tearing the place apart looking for the insurance card. Their cat is rubbing up against my pant legs wanting attention. So, I lean down and pet the cat for about 15 minutes and they finally come up with the insurance card. Once that's found, we head outside where it's not snowing/raining/sleeting. We clean off Zak's truck and Robin's car. Robin decides she wants to go down the hill of the apartment complex first. So, she crawls down the hill. I make it most of the way down the hill and realize that one of the problems with the truck and the fact that it needed inspected were the brakes. So, I'm pumping the brakes and sliding a little and I realize that I'm going to hit his girlfriend's car. So, I turn the wheel to the right and manage to stop about an inch before hitting her car with the truck. The bumper of the truck was actually higher than the bumper of the car, but it had those two steel bands and one of those put a ding in her bumper. In the meantime, moving the truck to the right caused the tire to hit the curb and pop the bead on the tire causing it to go flat. So, the Robin is freaking out and Zak is trying to calm her down, so to keep things moving, I'm changing the flat tire. By the time the tire is changed, we're all completely soaked. So, everyone is a little frazzled and we're on the road again. However, in the midst of all the tension, no one really notices that the truck is almost out of gas. At the end of McKnight road in Pittsburgh, there's a hill that goes down into the valley where there's a Sunoco station on the left side of the road, and then goes back up into another hill that turns into the exit for the parkway. Just as I'm about to crest the first hill, I can feel the engine sputter. I look down and the gas gauge needle is basically pointing at my shoe. So, I goose the engine and crest the hill and coast to the bottom and around the little curved turning lane in an effort to make it across to the Sunoco. But, of course, the light is against me, and now the truck is completely out of gas at the stop light across the street from the gas station. So, Zak heads over to the Sunoco to borrow a gas can and get us over to fill up. I can see him inside talking to the employee, pointing out the window at the truck. Turns out, they won't lend him a gas can, but they'll sell him one. So, he has to buy a gas can, fill it up, walk back across the road, put it in the truck so we can go through the light and fill the truck up. The rest of the drive out to Robinson was fairly uneventful til we were about halfway down the stretch of the parkway leading up to Robinson. A tractor trailer, who was ignoring the road conditions ended up jack-knifing across all three lanes. So, while waiting for a tow truck big enough to move the tractor trailer, there were policemen on the scene going from car to car explaining how to get off the exit to the right, head up the road, and basically loop around the accident. Now, keep in mind that the truck doesn't have an inspection sticker (the point of the journey) and as the cop approaches where does he shine his flashlight? Right where the sticker should be of course. His genial posture immediately stiffens and he makes the motion for me to roll down my window. "Missing an inspection sticker, aren't you?" So, I tell him that's why we're in the truck to take it to get inspected. Then he asks for the truck's registration. So, I turn to Zak to ask where it is. That's when the officer asks whose truck it is. I tell him that it's Zak's truck. So, then he asks why Zak isn't driving. Zak pipes right up and says, "Because I can't drive a stick." After the officer finished laughing, he decides that the extra two miles to Robinson aren't going to hurt anyone and lets us go with a warning. We finally get the truck parked and drop off the keys. That's when Robin decides that she's hungry. She asks if I have any recommendations. Being nice, I tell her that anywhere she wants to go is fine with me. Of course, she's craving McDonald's (which I hate). So, now I'm suffering through a crappy dinner that makes me mostly ill. Finally we get back to my car and I get home and stumble in my own door at around 11:30 (after leaving work at 6:00). My cat comes running down the stairs to greet me and ends up sinking his teeth and claws into my leg because he smells Zak and Robin's cat. So that's what my night was like. How was yours?
With the dumbfounded looks on their faces I ask, "Have any of you ever seen the movie Clue?" They say, "Yes" so I reply, "Well that's how it could have happened, but in reality we had no problems getting the truck there and getting back home."
Boy were they pissed. Zak finally had a nice laugh at their expense since they've been harping on him for several months. Now, they'll think twice before believing me again, but it was nice to think on my feet and come up with something so believable and fitting to the situation. My project manager actually made me a tag that said, "Don't talk to me, I'm a liar." I tried to explain that it was all college's fault. I mean, that was what I was supposed to do, make up stories. Just because I had a fictionalized account with real elements doesn't mean I was lying, I mean look at James Frey...ok, maybe that's a bad example.
For the rest of the day I got to give my little jabs too. When things got a little too quiet, I'd throw out things like
...so after we rescued the cat from the tree and were able to get back on the road...
...so after the firemen put out the engine fire and were able to get back on the road...
...so after we realized that the homeless guy grubbing quarters was MC Hammer and were able to get back on the road...
...so after the baby was delivered and we got everyone to the hospital safely and were able to get back on the road...
...so after we went quail hunting with the vice president and were able to get back on the road, well one of us anyway...
...after having FEMA declare the truck a disaster area and were able to get back on the road...
etc.
A nice day.