Quick post today. We actually got out of work early so my normal afternoon slacking was cut into. One thing I did want to mention, other than the fact that I hate New Jersey and the type of hockey they promote, is a question more or less. Is chili a salad dressing?

So, after reading the comment about the length of yesterday's post I decided to see just how long it actually was. 1,268 words. So, I'm verbose, loquacious, garrulous even. Sue me. My opening argument will probably last long enough to get the case thrown out. Anyway, tonight is game two and the Ducks need to look and play a whole lot better than they did in Game One.
This was the topic of conversation for an hour or so today. I'm telling you, if my cat leaps at the screen to catch one of their TV squirrels and breaks my TV Meow Mix is gonna be paying out the tail. And, not that I was scouting for jokes, but when I went to link the previous article I saw this which seems to prove that Philadelphia really is the city of Brotherly Love.
Not much else is going on and I'm looking forward to getting out of here in a few minutes. I want to continue reading the Newsweek article that I started at lunch. It was on the 100 best high schools in America. Not one of these schools is in Pennsylvania. Not one. Ohio, Kansas, Arkansas, even freakin' Alabama had one. Not Pa. My consolation is that for all their bragging, Cherry Hills NJ was not on the list. So, to the people I know from there I bite my thumb at thee, according to this list you got no better learnin' than me did.

Just a quick side note before I get down to the topic on my mind. My office chatters constantly about things that are going on in the world or stuff they heard on the news. They talk about TV shows and cooking and anything else that springs to mind. Today, this was their topic of conversation. Now, I can remember having fights with my parents about not being allowed to do something that I wanted to do, but I think with all the recent happenings in the world new parents should get a checklist. So, when their teenager starts the same argument that I did (you don't love me, you don't want me to have any fun, etc.) they can refer to the checklist. "Did I ever put you in a washing machine and turn it on?" No. "Did I ever try to drown you in the Snake River?" No. Then get back in the house and finish your chores.
Now on to today's, or rather, last night's musings. My parents weren't big sports fans. My father watches racing of all sorts, but for as long as I can remember his version of watching the race included turning the race on, sitting back in the recliner, watching 10-20 laps, falling asleep, and waking up with 10-20 laps to go. So, I didn't grow up pledging allegiance to any one sport or sport's team for that matter. Don't misunderstand me, as someone who grew up in the shadow of Pittsburgh I can remember the World Series in 1979 and the Superbowl in 1980 and the whole "We Are Family"/"City of Champions" deal. However, we didn't watch games on TV or even in person. I got tickets to a Pirates game in the 6th grade for straight A's in some program that they had. My dad and I went. I had to that point never been that bored. In the 5th inning my father got upset when I produced a book and started to read. So, I sold the rest of the Straight A tickets I got. As I got a little older I began to realize that I could do some things that my Father couldn't do. What I didn't realize is that there were thousands of things my Dad could do that I couldn't. And he didn't give an inch which is something I still respect.
I had never seen either of my parents play chess. So, when I learned how to play chess I felt pretty special. I came home bragging to my parents and my dad offered to play a game with me. He played so efficiently and beat me so effectively for about 10 straight games that I thought I had become retarded. Another time, I bought a box of random stuff at a yard sale that my parent's friends were having. Mixed in among the sparklers and marbles was a pair of wooden sticks. So, I asked my Dad what they were. "Those are chopsticks. I used to eat with those all the time when we were stationed in Hong Kong." Now I couldn't imagine anyone being able to eat with a pair of sticks thinner than a pencil. So to prove something either to myself or my dad, I began to practice. Now, I eat quite well with a pair of chopsticks and won't eat chinese food without them. When I found out my dad was a good bowler, I joined a saturday league. It was like a competition for me in some way.
Where is all this leading? Ice Skating. When I was about 12 or 13 I found out my Father was a pretty good ice skater. According to my Aunt and Uncles (his sister and brothers) out of the 7 of them, he was the best. I didn't have the opportunity to test my skating ability until this past winter and let me tell you, there's not a skater gene that gets passed down. I couldn't skate worth crap, although after three tries I could make it around the rink without falling. But enough of my lack of athletic ability, back to the story at hand. So, when I couldn't test my skating ability I began to really respect the people who had. Namely hockey players and figure skaters. Now the two don't go hand in hand and other than the fact that both use ice they have little in common. However, I began to become absorbed by both. In 1988 I was glued to the skate wars of Brian Orser and Brian Boitano in the Olympics. And, when the 1990-91 hockey season rolled around the Penguins had my attention full throttle as they made their way into the playoffs, past the first round...second round...third round and into the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which is where the story comes full circle. I watched all 6 games in the finals that year. And, in the beginning of game six they interviewed a small child as part of their fan bit. "What do you think the score is going to be?" "8-0 Pittsburgh" Most amazing prediction I've ever seen. Last night, with the exception of the interview part, ESPN Classic was running game by game highlights of the Stanley Cup Finals from the 1990-91 season. Watching those clips brought back such a flood of emotion. I could remember my excitement building with each goal in game 6. Since my parents weren't big sports fans, they had gone to bed. I was alone in the living room (back then it was the only room in the house that had a tv) trying to quietly watch the game. When your team goes up as quickly as Pittsburgh did, it's very hard to contain that. So, I ended up running laps around the outside of my house to calm myself down. All in all I think I did about 20 laps around the house that night. 8 for the goals and lots in between periods just to burn off the nervous excitement. And, watching those goal highlights again last night, I felt the same nervous energy building back up. Which is what led to my disappointment. The highlights finished at 8:00 and I quickly flipped over to watch game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals.
Now, I know that since Pittsburgh isn't playing that the level of excitement or energy wasn't going to come anywhere close to what it had been in 1991, but Stanley Cup hockey is always exciting regardless of who is actually in the game. At least that's what I thought til last night. Let me just state for the record. I hate the neutral zone trap playing style of the New Jersey Devils more than I hate the ESPN announcers and camera angles for the games. Watching Minnesota and Anaheim play to a 0-0 regulation tie and Anaheim win in overtime sounds boring. It wasn't. I was on the proverbial edge of my seat for that entire game. If I hadn't had other things to occupy my time, I probably would have fallen asleep during last night's game. I know, a long drawn out story to essentially say...I hate New Jersey and their style of hockey. But I do. I hate it. It gives hockey a bad image. New Jersey couldn't even sell out their arena for the first couple rounds of the playoffs. The most exciting story to come out of New Jersey has been the meltdown of Martin Brodeur's marriage. Although the two Niedermayer brothers make for an interesting side bar. But hell, even their mother is rooting for Anaheim.

It's horrible coming back to work after a long weekend. I guess you're supposed to balance it out with the fun from the weekend.
My weekend, however, didn't get off to all that great of a start. With just over 2 minutes left in regulation the Devils managed to get a goal on Patrick Lalime and down went the Ottawa Senators. So, now I'm a Ducks fan all the way. I can't handle the New Jersey Devils winning the Stanley Cup again, at least not this year. Let's Go Ducks! Game One Tonight baby. And, round 3, like round 1, came out at an even 50%.
Saturday wasn't too bad. We went to a picnic in the afternoon. I knew that it was going to be a young crowd. I didn't know that I was going to be the oldest one there by a decade. Yes, a decade. Wish I had my Geritol. Anyway, we took off from the picnic quickly (I'm pretty spry for my age). Then we spent the rest of the day hanging out with Mitch and assorted relatives. We played pool (all luck I'm telling you), and cards. So, Saturday was a nice relaxing day.
Sunday wasn't bad either. We headed down to my parent's house for a barbecue. So, I got to spend time with my parent's, grandmother, and uncles. All in all it was a good day as well.
Monday I actually got a lot of work done around the house. Which surprised me since there was a M*A*S*H marathon on TV. However, I did manage to locate and catalogue all but one of the episodes of both Snoops and Thieves. So, it was a pretty good day in that respect. And, if anyone has episode 8 "True Believers" of Snoops and episode 3 "Liver Let Die" of Thieves I'd be most appreciative if you let me borrow them. And the Unaired episodes of both would be wonderful as well. Ok, enough with the geekdom, although I did manage to catalogue my Star Wars Lego collection as well. I can already hear you screaming in pain so I'll stop now.

Not much to talk about today, really. It's been a very long day. The day before holiday time always is. The maximum number of people allowed to take off are gone. Everyone else is hoping for an early release, which almost never happens around here. So, I finished up what little work I had planned for today and I've been killing time surfing around for quite a while. Only about a half-hour to go before I can legitimately get the hell out of here. I figured I'd pop on here throw up a couple of sentences and kill a few more minutes. Oh well, maybe I'll have more to say next time.

Well, I realized that I hadn't posted yet today (or yesterday). The stupid communications course crept up on me and subsequently I was almost late for something I didn't want to be at in the first place. Do you think it was too harsh to say that the course taught me absolutely nothing and was a complete and utter waste of my time? So, when I got home all I had planned was to work around the house and maybe finish some of these little tasks that have been steadily building up. Then the call came in.
"What do you have planned tonight?" "Not much, just hangin' out, why?" "We've got something to celebrate, I'll be over at 7 with the cigars."
Such was the phone conversation with Mitch. Now, a host of things ran through my mind, but nothing could prepare me for what he actually had to say. "Today at 9:30 my company told us that our site was closing as of November 1st. Then when I got home my girlfriend and I broke up."
"Jesus, you're just a truck or a dog away from a country song. So, what are we celebrating, exactly?"
Turns out he was at one of those nice crossroads in life and this was exactly the kick in the ass he needed. Good for him, since he says it's good for him. Anyway, we had several nice cigars and a nice relaxing evening in the cool breeze so all was right with the world. Til tomorrow anyway.

Gauntlet--A form of punishment or torture in which people armed with sticks or other weapons arrange themselves in two lines facing each other and beat the person forced to run between them.

Why did I open with this? Well, over the years it has come to mean many things to me. When we were at the mall and needed a little snack, we'd head over to the food court and run the gauntlet of vendors offering free samples. When I was working downtown I used to have to run the gauntlet of smokers to get in and out of the building. So, what does this have to do with me today? Well, it has to do with my ongoing attempt to be a responsible American citizen and vote. When I found out that I wasn't registered to vote at my current address I figured that the paperwork had again been shuffled off to some mysterious black hole and I was still registered in my parent's district. So, after my afternoon meeting let out early, I got a jump on the hour's drive down to my parent's. I pulled into the lot of the building where they vote and suddenly it was like I was on the red carpet at Cannes. I was mobbed by a ton of people each trying to give me some little trinket with their name, elected position, and some clever campaign slogan. After manuevering my way through this particular gauntlet I reached the doors and went inside. Inside you're safe from the people trying to garner your vote with their down home enthusiasm, which, don't get me wrong, is something that I really like. You can actually meet most of the people you are voting for right there outside the office. But, once inside I walked over to the table and gave them my name. One of the ladies on the election board is a friend of my parents and said, "Didn't we process a change of address form for you last year?" I said that they had, but that it didn't work, I wasn't listed. Turns out, I'm not listed in my parent's district either. Apparently I haven't been a good voter because they wiped me off the books. Anyway, the woman called the voting office to find out exactly what was going on. Turns out that the paper work was filed correctly in my parent's district and they had me categorized as moved, but that my current district dropped the ball somewhere in listing me as a resident. So, if I want to vote where I live in November (and that's a might big IF) I have to re-register. Again, I'm beginning to understand why voting numbers go down every year even though the population swells.
On a completely unrelated topic, I was sad to see that June Carter Cash died. She will be sorely missed. And, I'm afraid that Johnny won't be far behind. That will be a sad day in the world of country music.
And again to This all I can say is...It's about time.

I knew this day would come. I have dreaded it. I have been kept up in many sleepless nights praying that it wouldn't happen. It's like the nightmare that you can't wake up from. What could keep me in this sweat drenched terror, you might ask? I hesitate to say. I don't want it to spread. It will be worse than Ebola, SARS, the plague, and small-pox combined. I blame this entirely on Joe. (who probably has someone else to blame it on.) Eventually we may discover the cause...if we live that long. Ok, here it is. And, may God have mercy on all our souls.

Perhaps it is highly unpatriotic of me, but I'm beginning to understand why legions of the American populous don't vote. For those of you that don't know, I grew up about an hour or so outside of Pittsburgh. My parents still live in the same place since 1977 or so and I was extremely proud to vote in my first presidential election in '92. Since then, I've only missed one primary due to work. However, for the past three voting opportunities, I've been trying to update my voter's registration to reflect my change of address. Living in Pittsburgh makes the urge to vote an hour away for people who, on the whole, won't affect your daily life rather difficult. So, when my driver's license needed renewal, I tried to change the registration then. The election rolled around, no change. So, I received a form from the helpful people at the polling office. I filled it out right there, they stamped it and filed it. Election day rolls around, nothing. And, to top it off, an extremely rude woman in the Green Tree office decides that I'm not even worth listening to. She attempts to give me several canned responses to questions that I haven't asked. Granted, I'm sure she's busy, but she is being paid to answer my questions no matter how asinine. So, when I asked her why none of the previous ventures had worked..."You probably didn't do it right." I didn't do anything. I checked the box on my driver's license renewal. In talking with Tom today, he did the same thing. His got changed. Mine didn't. Voting has become a strenuous exercise that I'm not sure I want to engage in any longer.
Ok, that's about as political as I get. Congrats to Jason Spezza for keeping the Sens alive for at least two more days. Hopefully they can tie the series on Wed night. I'd love to see the Sens and the Ducks battle it out.
So, yesterday I write about Brian's Exterra. Today, I log on to my blog and there's an ad for Nissan at the top. I think I'm being catalogued and spidered.
I get in to work today to find out that I'm being pulled in several different directions. The "interim" boss wants me to do data entry. The consultant wants her policy edited. I have work of my own that needs to be done and I'm supposed to leave early for a seminar. So much for a relaxing day to recharge from the highly stressful Service-Oriented Communications class. It was everything I've dreamed of and more. "Can you say Independent Clause?" "Now, who can tell me why using all capitals in an e-mail is not acceptable?" All things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. Can't think of anything else that went on. Oh wait, how could I forget. Mitch brought the DVD for the original Matrix over last night. So, I've now seen all of the original. Am I going to rush out and see the sequel? No. I'm beginning to understand why this movie has the complete and total geek following that it does. Anyway, one more off my list of movies to see.

And, since I'm not going to get to post this afternoon due to my Service-Oriented Communication (waste of my time) class, I'll put this little addendum up which should have been included in the first post. I completely forget that Friday night's happenings don't make it on by themselves. Anyway, Brian came into town for the weekend and we headed out to dinner with him Friday night. He just bought a brand new car. The Nissan Exterra. What color you may ask? Bright Yellow, which kicked off the conversation for the evening that's for sure. Lots of comments about Brian driving the "short bus" etc. Then we started talking about color choices and I brought up Mario's humvee. After a few minutes of debating the rust-orange color of his car, we were trying to figure out what Humvee stood for. So, not having the answer I text messaged Tom who is one of the few people I know who has more useless knowledge in his head than I do. His first answer, Human Vehicle. We dismissed that rather quickly and just concentrated on dinner. As I came to find out this morning, he went to Tiff's and made her look up the answer. So once again, I need to thank Tiff for the help that I asked Tom for. Oh, and in case you're curious it originally stood for High Mobility Multi-Purposed Wheeled Vehicle (HMMWV) which somewhere along the way got bastardized into Humvee and later Hummer. So, thanks again Tiff.

Well let's see, just a quick post on the weekend updates. Congrats to the Ducks. They swept the Minnesota Wild in the Conference Finals to enter their first Stanley Cup bid. J-S Giguere posted a goals against average of .22 allowing just one goal from Minnesota. Not too shabby, although I would have loved to have seen a shut-out sweep. On the other side of the conference though, New Jersey went up three games to one on the Ottawa Senators. I'm hoping I'm wrong, but I see the Stanley Cup Finals being an East Coast (Devils) West Coast (Ducks) series. I can't bear to have New Jersey take a Stanley Cup. Hopefully the Giguere can hold them together for four more wins.
This weekend Terri and I did lots of work on Saturday in the jungle that is our front yard. All this rain certainly isn't helping our cause any.
One of the girls at work has been telling me for weeks that I should see the movie Less Than Zero. So, this weekend after the hockey game Brian did his normal trick of bolting to see other people in his limited time in Pittsburgh. Glen, Amy, Terri, and I watched some horrible "international" kid's game show and then decided that since we were being completely lame on a Saturday night we should probably at least do something slightly more normal. So we headed to Blockbuster, the girls looked around for a movie to rent and I headed for the older DVD's. Less Than Zero was in so I decided to rent it. They settled on One Hour Photo and they wanted to getAnalyze That which wasn't in. So, Glen and Amy took off to check their video store for Analyze That and we headed to pick up Rita's Italian Ice for dessert. At the Ice place, I pulled into a slot next to the only other car in the entire parking lot. I was a little crooked, but being the only other car felt rather certain that the other driver could pull out. Apparently I was wrong. This woman headed back to her car and her whole image just screamed, "I'M A SNOBBY PRETENTIOUS BITCH WHO ALWAYS GETS MY OWN WAY." She looked at her car and my car and without even attempting said, "I don't think I can pull out." Thinking I had misjudged the distance I walked around to the other side of my car and realized that you could dock a freighter in the space she had. So, I said, "Really?" Then, just to confirm my suspicions on what a bitch she was, "Do you like your car?" I looked at her point blank and said, "Go back to driving school and pass this time." I then proceeded to get in my car. I shot straight backwards and whipped around very efficiently so that I was pointing in the other direction. But, being on a hill that was slightly slick with rain and in a stick when I put it in first to go forward, my temper got the better of me and for the first time since high school I smoked a set of tires. Completely irresponsible, but the looks on the high school employees of Rita's and the snobby bitch were well worth the few dollars of tire tread I lost.
But the night gets better, or worse depending on which side of the fence you were on. When we got to Glen and Amy's I found out that their video store had also been out of Analyze That. So, what was their substitute, you might ask? Well it was this. The funniest (no, scratch that, funniest implies that there were other funny lines.) line in this entirely forgettable, predictable, hour and forty minutes of complete and utter schlock came from a bit player and might have even been an ad-lib based on the rest of the script. When Bullock, in her own graceful way, tripped over an office plant she looked up at the office boy and told him to get rid of it. He picked it up and said in a very monotone voice, "Yes ma'am, the ficas is fired." 101 minutes for that. No highlights before, none after. And apparently her voice wasn't a put on in Miss Congeniality which is just a damn shame that she always talks like that. That movie, which people say, but you liked it and it has Sandra Bullock. No, I didn't like Sandra Bullock and would have fully enjoyed the movie if almost anyone else was in the lead. That movie was made enjoyable by the secondary players, ie Caine, Bergen, and Shatner. Anyway, avoid Two Weeks Notice at all costs and you'll sleep better. Anyway, back to the whole point of this ramble which is Less Than Zero. Now, don't get me wrong the movie was very good. And, if I get a chance I'm gonna pick up the book for a read to see the stuff the movie left out. The incongruity in my mind comes in from the recommendee. I thought I had the type of movies that she watched pegged pretty well, but this one came way out of left field. This is the girl who couldn't finish Office Space because she just didn't get it. Granted, this office isn't as closely mimicked, but there are similarities. So, I guess I was pleasantly surprised by the movie and the new revelation into a co-worker's mind. Which is a step up around here since most people don't go much below a penny scratch on a lottery ticket. And, that was my weekend.

Alright, I seem to have the comment system under control. That's the explanation for the several short little posts. It just looked better than "Testing" So, this morning with help from Tom, who had to have his girlfriend help him, everything seems to be functioning normally. Not much else is going on today. I'm just ticking down the minutes til I can get the hell out of here for the weekend. Not that I have anything more exciting waiting for me this weekend, but it sure beats being here.
On a completely odd and unrelated topic, the interim boss said that of all the people in the office to dance with, I wouldn't be his first choice. Understandable I guess. Then he went too far. He said that one of the temps, Tony, ranks higher on the list than I do. I'm hurt and insulted and completely clueless as to why I even care.
I received confirmation of the Service-Oriented Communications class (e-mail) that I have to take. The e-mail said that I was scheduled for Monday 19th of May and Wednesday the 22nd of May. Now, I know that I wasn't a math major and can't unravel programming as evidenced by the comment saga, but even I can look at a calendar and see that if Monday is the 19th, Wed has to be the 21st. So, if I had any respect left at all for this class (which I didn't so it doesn't matter), it would have went right out the window there. Attached to the confirmation e-mail was homework. They wanted us to take the example e-mail and correct the grammer and punctuation. Then once we were done correcting the e-mail, we were supposed to write a second draft making it clearer and closer to the point. As I began ripping things apart with my trusty red pen, I noticed that one of the mistakes that they are trying to have you correct involved the verb "to be" Now for anyone who knows anything about Pittsburgh, and western Pa as a whole, they know that the verb "to be" doesn't exist in language here. The car needs washed. The lawn needs mowed. What else needs done? Since most of the employees here are true yinzers how do they expect people to catch that. I also noticed when placing my time out of the office on the public calendar online that someone else going to the class had simply placed "grammer class" in the reason field. I had no idea that they were teaching a class on this. Ok, this just proves that they need to screen the people that are taking this class. How am I supposed to sit in class with this person and not make a sarcastic comment? It will be a true test of patience.
That being said, hopefully J.S. Giguere can write history once again and perform another playoff shutout making the Ducks the first team in history to sweep the conference finals without letting their opponents score any goals. I know, people are saying that it's boring hockey. I find the Ducks/Wild series very exciting and most of it stems around the fact that two Defense first teams are battling one another. The Ducks are playing the game they'd like to play and it's highly entertaining to see the Wild scramble around the ice trying to remember what to do. On the flip side, another game of the New Jersey/Ottawa series with the trap and I'm gonna skip the rest of the series.

Ok, I'm disappointed with the Sens, but hopefully they can even it out on Saturday.

Oh, and congrats to the Ducks. Woo-hoo.

Oh yeah, and I'll add the comments to every single post eventually so that those of you who are dying to make fun of me will get your chance.

Okay, it's been an interesting day. Yacky McNevershutsup here at work has been driving us all crazy today. Thankfully I have big stereo sound blocking headphones and cd's to sink into. And, I finally got a comment system installed. Yeah for me. Okay, okay, yeah for Tom. I still have no idea what I did. But it seems to be working at the moment. Now if I could just figure out how to code it properly we'd be all set.

Hmmm, completely unrelated to yesterday's rant and unintended was the fact that my cd rotation included the soundtrack to Life of Brian. Why does this strike me funny? Well, towards the end of the CD they have Brian's mom talking to him and she says, "Well if that's how you treat your poor old mother in the autumn years of her life, all I can say is, 'Go ahead. Be crucified. See if I care.'" Some will see the irony, others will just say I'm weird. Anyway, hockey went poorly yesterday. Lalime's streak of 2 or less goals in the playoffs was broken by a four goal game effort from the Devils. Hopefully Ottawa can rebound and break New Jersey's unbeaten streak on home ice in the playoffs. On the upside the Ducks play tonight and hopefully will go up 3-0.
I ran into a guy I graduated high school with on the street while I was wandering around at lunch. This guy was one of my best friends in high school, but had some major problems upon graduation. Now both of his adopted parents are dead and his wife/girlfriend just had a baby. There were five of us in high school spanning three grades that hung out regularly. Other friends floated in and out of the group and at one point around 91 after we had all seen the miniseries IT, we ended up likening ourselves to the "Loser's Club" And, we were pretty damn close, though in a high school as small as ours everyone knows everyone else and social circles are redrawn hourly if not more often. However, back to the actual story and gratuitous references to Stephen King. This guy was one of those that you would do anything for, and it was reciprocated. Now, how many of those 5 do I keep in close contact with 10 years out of high school...one. The other three (me being one of the 5) have just faded themselves into the background and it's a mutual thing, no one has time, no effort is made from either side, etc. There are days when that makes me sad. I wish I had the time and money to keep up with everyone that I was friends with at one point. For now, I have to be content to pass information around through different gossip channels and maybe catch up at the reunion. Although the two that were in my grade aren't really the reunion type. Why am I telling you all of this? Actually, do I even know who you are? No, I'm just releasing thoughts that have bounced around in my head for several years through all of the problems that this guy has been through. Alcoholism, death, stealing, jail(?) and lying to everyone at one point or another. It's very painful at the age of 21 or 22 to break ties with a guy you've known since you were 6. That's like divorcing your brother or your parents. Time may heal all wounds, but no one ever says how much time. When I saw his nephew (don't ask, it's a much longer and convoluted story than I care to get into here) at the reunion planning meetings I asked about him. The same pain was evident in his eyes that I can feel in mine. He said something that pretty much summed everything up for me. "That boy was given every opportunity and screwed it up. I don't understand it. It makes me so mad, but if he walked in here right now, I'd probably give him everything in my wallet." I echoed his sentiments and that's what made me think. He invited me to see the baby and it's only right down the street, probably less than 10 blocks away. I'm torn. I want to go, almost feel compelled to go, but can I afford to open myself up for that kind of hurt again?

I've decided that having a departmental meeting is about as productive as spitting into a fan, except that spitting into a fan could be made into a game and therefore have a modicum of entertainment value attached to it. I spend hour upon hour churning out operating procedural documents for the department that are by and large ignored, not used or ridiculed. What exactly is the point? I could just simply go back to the monkey job of data entry, turn my brain off and fit right back in with the lemmings. I often wonder what it would be like to be appreciated for the work that I do and the effort that goes into it. I know that I portray the slacker and god knows I've yet to work a full 40 hour week since I can churn out more work in a short span of time. However, I have written close to 700 pages of a manual that keeps getting rewritten behind my back. When this is brought to someone's attention, the reply is, "Oh, yeah. Why aren't we still doing that?" Perhaps because most people in this department have the attention span of a two year old and that's being generous since Jacob's attention span far outlasts the people in my department. I also feel that I'm portraying myself as a martyr most of the time. Maybe I need to follow Lloyd's advice and I'll go get myself a big wooden cross so that everytime I feel unappreciated for my sacrifices, I can climb on up and nail myself to it.
At least the hockey world is throwing me a bone. J-S Giguere is making himself look like every all-star goaltender rolled into one. Go Ducks.

Ah, time for some afternoon relaxation. Writing this blog has been somewhat of a catharsis for me, not that I've had any great and harrowing experience, but it's a relief to be writing something on a regular basis. No one's going to take a red pen to my blog except me and that's quite comforting. Although, I do get remarks from time to time (and I swear a comment system is coming soon) and it's nice to hear from people. Anyway, enough about that crap. The respective game 1's went well in both the East and the West. Both games ended in overtime in my favor. J-S Giguere is now less than 10 minutes away from the all-time OT shutout record. Since the regular season series between the Ducks and the Wild were all very close, there might be another overtime game in the future and all Giguere has to do is play half a period without letting the Wild score and another of Patrick Roy's records fall. Don't get me wrong, Patrick is a spectacular goaltender (much better than that scrub that plays for the Devils) but it's really nice to see someone else's name for a change. Ray asked today if not having teams like the Red Wings, Avalanche, Stars, or Flyers in the conference finals was going to help or hurt hockey. I think it can only help. It gives fans from other areas the chance to see what the playoffs are like firsthand. The fans in Anaheim, Minnesota, and Ottawa are delirious right now. They can't wait to see what happens. I'm pretty sure I heard that this was Ottawa's first trip to the conference finals and I know it's the first trip for the Wild. I'm guessing it's also the first or maybe second trip for the Ducks. So, these fans are getting their season's worth, that's for sure. Fans in Detroit, Colorado, New York, Dallas, Vancouver, and Philly are watching three teams compete in the finals that simply wanted it more. You always hear sportscasters talk about the heart of the team, well these three teams (I refuse to acknowledge New Jersey since a. They have just now met a team with talent and b. I don't like them anyway) have heart and in the west it's going to be hard to see one of them fall. Ottawa's going to make it out of the East so there's nothing to worry about there.
Enough about hockey. Let's talk Matrix. No, not the club in downtown Pittsburgh, but this whole movie thing that seems to keep everyone enthralled. Everyone that is except me. I saw part of the first one, disliked it and never bothered to go back and watch the rest, nor will I see either of the sequels. I frankly don't understand the hype. I'm extremely tired of seeing the effects rehash from the first one and am steeling myself for the deluge from the next two. Oh well, this isn't the first time I've differed from popular opinion just one of the few inexplicable times.
As for this weekend, it was mostly uneventful. I spent much of the soggy Saturday working inside the house since yardwork was out of the question. In a few days if it doesn't dry up, I'm gonna need Indiana Jones and a machete to help me navigate up my front steps. Saturday was also full of hockey which I already talked about. On Sun. Terri and I had dinner out with my parents, Grandmother and uncles. Then we presented my Grandmother with a new TV for Mother's Day and headed off to Terri's parents house. It was a typical holiday to say the least. Although, everyone, either out of reflex or for some other odd reason kept wishing Terri a Happy Mother's Day. As far as I know they are at the very least 9 months too early. Maybe they're trying to give us some not so subtle hints about grandkids or something. Who knows. I've long since given up trying to explain the rationale behind either of our families.

Anyone reading the past entries saw my little tirade on the e-mail 101 class that we were all signed up for. I pled my case one last time and was denied again. They've sent everyone to this class including a few people that were more qualified to get out of it than I am. And I was told that in addition to taking the class, I wasn't allowed to show anyone up, make anyone feel stupid, answer all the questions, or cause trouble. That's like saying I'm not allowed to breathe. Ok, I can probably suck it up and go to the class and lose 6 hours of my life. But, to not even answer a question or make anyone feel inferior, geez you might as well try and find good tv on the TLC channel. It's almost an impossibility. Oh well c'est la vie, or if you're headed to the concert tomorrow night c'est la mcvie. I wonder if I call off sick, do I have to make up the class? Maybe they'll be buggy work to do, oh wait, I can't use that as an excuse anymore. And, to top it all off, everyone has been making fun of me because of my Manilow t-shirt. Although I did get into a music conversation with someone who actually has more CD's than I do and she arranges hers alphabetically by genre too so either my OCD is catching or I don't actually have a problem.

Like I was saying to my friend Brian yesterday, "If someone would have told me in December that I'd be watching the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim battle the Minnesota Wild in the Western Conference Finals, I would have fallen out my chair laughing." Well, that's exactly what's going to happen starting Saturday. As for predictions this round...I think it's gonna be The Mighty Ducks against the Ottawa Senators in the Stanley Cup Finals. And hopefully karma won't come back to bite me in the ass since I've voted against the Ducks two rounds in a row.

I've noticed that the majority of my entries come in the afternoon when motivation takes a leave of absence. Oh well, nothing I can do about that. It's not like I would work through it or anything. Tonight the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs will be decided and I think I'm gonna score under 50%. Judging from the last two games where they've been outscored 12-3 I don't think Vancouver is going to pull out a game 7 win. They just don't seem as though they want it bad enough. I think I want it more than they do and I'm several canadian providences away from where the game is going to be played (never mind the fact that I can't skate or shoot). Regardless of the outcome of tonight's game the conference finals start on Saturday.
One of the things that I noticed skimming through the entertainment news is that within the next two years there will be two epic films made about the life of Alexander the Great. Now, I guess the subject material could be interesting, but two movies. Then I noticed the casts. For the first one, Oliver Stone is directing Colin Farrell. Well, I can only say that if Farrell brings the same realism to this movie that he did to the life of Jesse James, then we are in for a treat indeed. We may see the first occurence of Alexander the Great driving a Ford Mustang. The second movie is being directed by Baz Luhrmann who brought the magnum opus Moulin Rouge to life. This movie, much like that movie also stars Nicole Kidman. The lead, or Alexander, is being played by Leonardo DiCaprio, who worked with Luhrmann in Romeo and Juliet. Is it his personal mission in life to ruin all epic stories? Oh well, I doubt I'll see either one so does it really matter? And seriously, is Alexander the Great that proven as a box office draw? Me, I'd much rather see this. At least it doesn't take itself too seriously. Oh well, enough space wasted on...nothing interesting. I think it might be time to go back to work now.

Just a quick thought this morning. This has been rattling around in my head since Saturday, but as I was watching TV before falling asleep last night the original X-Men was on. Once again I heard them explaining to Wolverine that the metal in his body is indestrucible. I got that part. However, every time they say the name of the metal, adamantium, all I can hear is "Don't drink. Don't smoke. What do you do?" Some of you will get it and others will just be puzzled. Try here if you're clueless.

Well, the hockey gods have apparently decided that I can only be half right at any given time. If Vancouver can close out Minnesota on Wednesday night, my predictions for the second round will be exactly the same percentage as my predictions for the first round. 50%. I can't answer a 50-50 question in Trivial Pursuit correctly to save my life, but two rounds in a row it looks as though that's how I'm picking them. I called my friend Matt (the big Flyer's fan) last night to confirm the tee-time for the Flyers. He wasn't a happy man and I don't blame him. His team, however, did make it two rounds further than mine did. I saw my last Pens game over a month ago. One thing I realized during my conversation with him (albeit a brief one since he's buried in school work. He's working on a PhD from The University of Connecticut.) is that hockey is set up in a very intelligent manner as far as sports go. Beginning with the opening of the regular season near the beginning of October, you rabidly watch your team all throughout the year seeing all of the different opponents, perhaps attending a few games along the way. You might even find time to scout the other teams if your team isn't playing that evening. All of this leads to the first round of the playoffs which begins in mid-April. Games are overlapping each other there's so much hockey to watch. You're getting a regular fix all throughout the first round. Then as teams are eliminated you begin the second round. There are fewer teams and therefore fewer games, but still very intense since you know that they're playing for the right to compete in the conference finals in the third round. By the time the third round starts, you don't even notice that there are fewer games since each game holds a season's worth of significance within it. This finally leads to the Stanley Cup Finals. Whether it's a sweep or it gets pushed to game 7, you're left feeling exhilarated (unless of course your team didn't make the playoffs). Then just as that is wearing off, the draft takes place. The press surrounding the draft dies down right around the time that the unrestricted free agents being testing the waters. Just as this is finishing up you have the salary arbitration hearings. At the end of that, the press focuses on training camp and you're right back into the regular season. Now, if I could just get ESPN to follow the games correctly instead of their bad camera angles and even worse commentators.
Not much else is going on today. I'm tiring of walking the precarious fence of doing the job I was hired to do and the job I actually enjoy doing. Especially since I'm being tapped for both and one has a deadline attached to it. Other than that work is fairly mundane. I walked over to the greek orthodox food festival at St. Nicholas church today. The food looked really good, but I just wasn't in a lunch kind of mood. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it though. That's all for today I guess.

Okay, as I sit here listening to the Hudson Hawk soundtrack (Hey, I liked the movie), I'm trying to go over the events of the weekend so I can remember all of the wonderful things to tell you nice people. On Friday I had hoped that the Lightning could pull a miracle out of the hat, but they were eliminated. The only bright spot is that there was an NBA playoff game scheduled right after the hockey game. The game went into a triple overtime (I love multiple overtime games.) and the NBA fans had to miss a quarter and a half of the basketball game. That was a good feeling. Tonight there are three possible elimination games. If Ottawa, Vancouver, and the Ducks can win one more, round two is over and it's on to the conference finals.
Also on Friday I said I was off to help build a swingset. And, while that is true I thought we'd be done Friday night. Well, Friday night ended and the set wasn't finished. So, I got up early on Saturday to go back and help. Saturday afternoon rolled around and I had previous engagements so I had to leave with the set still unfinished. Sunday afternoon, Mark and I worked with a determination to finish the set no matter how long it took. Thankfully, we were able to accomplish the goal. Jacob loved it, but man, if there's an extra price for assembly...PAY IT!!!! Or, at least spend four or five hours familiarizing yourself with the directions so that you don't have to take apart all of the things you already put together. One of the crew wasn't big on instructions Friday night. On Saturday, we found that several boards were in the wrong places. So, most of Saturday was spent undoing Friday's work. A good portion of Sunday was spent undoing or re-doing Saturday's work as well. In the end, there was a happy (almost) three year old so that's all that matters.

Also on Saturday, we headed over to Mitch's house to watch the first X-Men movie. Then we headed to the theater to see...you guessed it X2. On the whole it wasn't bad. Not having read any of the comic books or seen the cartoon I'm left to my own imagination on most things. I love the mutant effects, especially the gratuitous use of the Zippo lighter. My Aunt Margaret works for the Zippo factory so anything that keeps them in business is good with me. After the movie we headed back to Mitch's for dinner and ended up watching a movie called American Outlaws. The film, I was told, is loosely based on the life of Jesse James. About the only three things the actual life of Jesse James and this movie have in common are 1.) Jesse and Frank James were actual people and also characters in the movie. 2.) They both, at some point, rode horses. 3.) They both hold up banks. That's where the similarities end. However, it was an entertaining movie at least. And, I did learn one thing from it. Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton surrendered at the Battle of Vicksburg. That wasn't actually in the movie, but the conversation going on around the movie brought up the question and I looked it up for future reference. Anyway, I think those are all the major weekend occurences and work has been extremely quiet today so I'll just sign off here and stop boring everyone to death.

A bit more on the E-mail class. Not only have I not been successful in my attempts to get out of it thus far (though I plan on prevailing), I found out that the class is SIX HOURS LONG. It's split over two days which may save lives if I ultimately have to take this class. Some one in the office asked me why I was trying so hard to get out of the class. I said, "It's not that I'm trying to get out of something, I have already taken this class. You wouldn't send Emeril Lagasse back to cooking school. Why should I go back for an elementary writing class?" This met with obvious skepticism, most notably the "new guy" saying..."But I'm sure that Emeril takes refresher courses all the time." That may be true. I have no basis to argue that particular point, but E-mail 101 is hardly a refresher course. If I was being signed up for Advanced Character Development in Fiction, I may have a slightly better attitude about it. As I plan on bringing up to the "new guy" (who is a CPA), the next time the conversation rolls around to this, "You wouldn't mind taking a refresher class on the newest tax laws, but you'd be a tad acrimonious (thank you Joey) in replying to a suggestion that you need to go back to Accounting 101. Ok, enough bitterness for today. I'm off to help build a swingset for my buddy Jacob and pray that the Lightning have something left to stave off the Devils.

Hmmm, so what else goes on today...not much. I will say that you need to go vote in Craig Barker's band contest. Though it has already started, it's very interesting to watch the rationale of people voting for their favorite bands. One of today's match-ups included Green Day vs. ZZ Top. Now, not being an overly huge fan of both ( I think I have two ZZ Top CD's and a tape and maybe 3 Green Day CD's and a couple of singles) I was in a flip a coin kind of mode. Then I remembered when the Green Day song, Basket Case hit the airwaves. The three freshmen college girls living on the floor below us would sing that song constantly at the top of their lungs. I shuddered from the memory and promptly voted for ZZ Top. I'm beginning to think that this type of logic is used in Presidential elections as well. Oh well, at least we still have the illusion of being in control by voting. Rock the Vote, baby.

This is a crushing ego blow. I just got an e-mail telling me that I was signed up for a communications class and I could get continuing ed credits if necessary. I looked over my calendar and I had an advanced Purchasing class that I have to evaluate for senior management and a time management seminar. Neither of these seemed deserving of cpe's. So, I started asking questions. I found out that everyone in the department got volunteered for an e-mail class. A class in which they teach you how to write e-mail. I spent 150,000 on my education so I didn't have to take classes like that. I went to my higher up sources to try and pull some strings and they knew nothing about it and were therefore powerless to save me. I'm now going to have to sit in a class full of people that actually need the assistance and try and occupy my time. It's gonna be like grade school all over again. Maybe I'll be able to log on to the blog.

This falls under the heading of taking things too far..
The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim will not play the Star Spangled Banner before their home games because the song contains the word Stars and their opponents the Dallas Stars may derive some sort of motivation from that. I have decided that I will now no longer play the Barenaked Ladies song, "One Week" because it contains the word 'wasabi' and I want to discourage people from eating sushi. High Fives all around. Take that Dick Shawn.