Alright, I finally realized that I didn't create this blog as a diversion, I created it to get me back into the habit of writing. And, in my brilliant flash of inspiration, I also realized that my "job" shouldn't stop me from doing what I want to do. So, maybe I don't get to post at work anymore. Isn't that why I bought a computer for the house? So, slowly but surely over the next couple of weeks I'll be catching up on reading everyone else's blog and that will no doubt precipitate discussion of some sort. Like finding the unnamed commentor who decided to point out my birthday. Anyway, with little to no fanfare, much like in the beginning...I'm back. And may God have mercy on all our souls.

Tom asked me to post this for a very good cause, so here it is.

Heart Walk

I donated, so should you. In fact, I may go watch since Tom is actually walking in the event. That in itself will be worth the donation.

"If there's any justice in the hereafter, Brooks is standing behing the bench of a hockey team in heaven today facing his old Wisconsin foe, Bob Johnson. The ice is wide and smooth and every player can skate like the wind and pass the puck perfectly from tape to tape, skating in seamless and ceaseless motion. There are no neutral-zone traps, no goonery. Just smart, swift playmaking and intelligent defense, the hallmarks of Herb Brooks hockey. Johnson, whose sunny nature shone in stark contrast to Brooks' serious reserve, saluted everyone he met by declaring, 'It's a great day for hockey!' Monday was not a great day for hockey." Helene Elliott, Los Angeles Times

I don't have War and Peace sized entries. Anna Karenina sized maybe. I'm just verbose. And I am gonna catch up soon. I'm making headway.

I haven't given up or quit. I swear. I have lots to blog about, I just need time. Please forgive me.

Ok, Joe was right when he said that blogging was what suffered when you worked a long week. This month is the last month of the fiscal year for the University I work at. That means that all the bills have to be paid and since I technically was hired to work in Accounts Payable this is the time of year they pull me off the shelf, dust me off, and see if I remember what I'm doing. So, I've been working 12-15 hour days since last Tuesday and have 5 more days to go. Anyway, I'll try and finish up the events of two weekends ago, last week, the past weekend, and this week, so it's probably going to be wordy.

So I last left off with the reception. I made a few phone calls, sent a few text messages, and just generally alerted people that it actually happened, which no one was sure of anyway. When I called my buddy Mark he gave me some great news. He got a new job and was able to leave the company that he despised. This was the company that I used to work for. I'm sure I've blogged about it before, but I'm too lazy to look it up in the archives, so I'll give a banana peel to anyone that actually finds it. Anyway, when I went back to the reception we started to drink at the cocktail hour. I drink Stoli Screwdrivers. It's my drink of choice. Bond had Martini's--shaken not stirred. I have Stoli Screwdriver's very little ice. However, when I got up to the bar I found out that they only had Stoli Razberi. I wasn't quite sure how that was going to mix with orange juice. Turns out, it's fantastic. When I get my life back in July, I'm going to have to pick a bottle of Razberi up. I only have about a shot left in the bottle I have. Anyway, as we were waiting to go into the reception hall, we noticed a relative of Dave's getting a coke. I'm guessing he had to be somewhere between 12-14, but I'm not certain. Matt caught a glimpse of him and said, "Look it's Mini-Dave." None of us could argue with that. He was wearing a suit jacket that was so long it made him look like a midget. A fat midget, but a midget none the less. We figured that in order to get a jacket that would go around his considerable girth, he had to order it way big. From there we got in to the reception hall where we met the people that we would be sitting with for the evening. There were a trio of people from Jessica's side of things that seemed nice, but they were all vegetarians, so I'll hold that against them. After Pat's attempt at a toast (I've seen much better) Dave grabbed the microphone and thanked everyone for coming and a couple other of pleasantries that no one really listened to. Then a strange thing happened. The band started to play, "It had to be you." I immediately grabbed my phone and sent a text message to Tom..."Oh, my god. He's singing." He, of course, could not remember all the words and didn't quite make it through the whole thing, but I've seen very little stop Dave from making a fool of himself. Of course he had help. The Band was pretty bad. They play at the bar where Dave and Jessica met, but I get the feeling that the band at the wedding was all his idea. She didn't seem real thrilled with it. The lead singer (and I use that term loosely) looked like Elvis Costello, but didn't have one tenth his talent. The only thing that we liked from him all evening was his rendition of The Rainbow Connection in a Kermit the Frog voice. We thought he should sing all of his songs in that voice. But that's getting ahead of myself. Dave and Jessica had not devised any sort of plan for alerting the wait staff to which meal people had ordered. I couldn't even remember what choices there had been let alone which I had chosen. So, the wait staff hated us. So, after dinner they began to play some music to dance to, or at least that's what they said. At one point they had played, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" and "I Will Survive" and they began to play something that soundly oddly familiar. That had been our game all evening trying to guess which song was going to be slaughtered next. So we were trying to figure out which song it might be when it hit us...it was Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. Taylor (another CMU individual at our table) leaned over and said, "Perhaps the song about an illegitimate child is not the most appropriate song for a wedding." The rest of the evening had it's ups and downs. We danced when we could stand the music. And we got to catch up with some people we hadn't seen for a while. Since Adam had been studying in Rome his internal clock was all screwed up. He was starting to fade out quite quickly. And, when Adam gets tired it's always funny. As we were walking back into the hall he said, "Maybe they'll (the band) play something I like, or, I might slit my wrists." Knowing Adam as we do he's not prone to making comments like that.
Dave's photographer was using a pretty elaborate digital set-up. We figured he must have come from CMU as well. There was a great big party going on, lots of liquor and food, and he was sitting in the back corner of the room hunched over a computer. We sat and heckled everything around us a bit more and I finally decided that when we all got to hell I didn't want the rest of them celling with me. They were a bad influence. Ok, we were all being fairly mean, but if we didn't heckle who would? I went out with Pat and Matt in the hallway to catch up and while we were gone, Phil, a true sales weenie, decided that he was going to hit on our wives. As we were walking into the hall again he had drug Alison out on to the dance floor and was basically holding her hostage. We watched for a while and then Matt felt bad and went to rescue his wife. Phil then went to Terri and I also watched and laughed for a little and then went over to rescue her as well. When we got back to the table they said that he had walked over to them and asked if they were with anyone. They both said that their husbands had just stepped out. He said, "That's ok. I'm married too. So, it's ok."
About halfway through the evening we noticed one of the guests looked exactly like John Cusack. We spent the next half hour or so spouting our favorite quotes from his movies. "I want my two dollars." "I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork, how have you been?" At about this time they brought out a bunch of desserts in addition to the cake. There were several big bowls of chocolate pudding that were left when we decided to head back to our rooms. We were fairly certain that we could get out of the ballroom with one, but realized that we would have to hum the Mission: Impossible theme song. So, we gave up on that. As we were walking up the hallway generally making fun of the band we noticed the lead singer standing in front of the Mac machine. Quickly we ducked around the corner to the elevator hoping he hadn't heard us. But then again, I'll most likely never end up in his piano bar so what do I care. As we got onto the elevator an older couple that had been at the wedding got on as well. They made polite small talk and ended with, "That band was phenomenal for people of all ages. Don't you think?" We had no words. We had spent the better part of the evening making fun of the band and my mom always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." This was one of the times that I listened.
When we got upstairs we played a game of cards and somehow Alison won. I'm pretty sure there was trickery involved, but I'm not sure how.
The next morning we set off for home. After following Matt's warped sense of direction we finally got on the way home. We stopped at a donut shop (there seems to be one every five feet in New England). The donut shop was a drive-thru only basically. But we didn't want to drive through so we tried to go around and almost ended up in the McDonald's drive-thru. We finally got to the shop, but they didn't take credit cards and we didn't have much cash. So we had to trek across the parking lot to the Mac machine. We made it back to Matt and Alison's house eventually and after a few more leans from Susie we headed for home. And, I'll pick it up there later. Gee now I'm only 9 days or so behind.

It is both intrinsically sad and disheartening to be the one who shuts the lights off in the office on a Friday night and the one who turns them back on Saturday morning. Sweet God of caffiene don't fail me now.

Okay, need to get everything caught up here. I've seen way too many things since I've been back that I want to blog about. So, sit back, grab a cocktail (I recommend Stoli Razberi and orange juice, you'll find out later), and prepare to be amused, amazed, or angry.
Alison was off work on Friday so the four of us were stumped for something to do. Then someone decided maybe a movie. So then we had to wait until someone broke down and went and retrieved the paper from the paperbox so we could see what was playing. I was looking for an intelligent piece of cinema so I suggested this. Thankfully I was shot down. We decided we were going to see this piece of crap. Ok, that's probably a little more harsh than I need to be, but I didn't really care for the movie. But back to the events leading up to that.
The movie started at 4:30 so Alison decided she wanted to get a haircut. So she and Terri set out on a fairly long journey to get a haircut. (This chick's rockin' your bro on the dance floor) Matt and I decided to play Gran Turismo for the Playstation 2. Well, let me put that in slightly clearer terms. Matt decided he wanted to win for a change so we played video games. I got my ass kicked more times than I could keep track of. I got beat by a freakin' VW Bug and a Mini-Cooper. Anyway, once I tired of that we started to watch this, which was actually supposed to be this. One thing that we noticed using the subtitles is how close Henry IV is to The Holy Grail. I'm still not quite sure whether that's a product of Shakespeare stealing from Monty Python or Monty Python stealing from Shakespeare. Before we got too far into the movie the girls came home from their long journey to get a haircut (but she's towin' an anchor, a junior investment banker) and we had to get ready for the movie.
I didn't like the movie. Everyone else seemed to. I did enjoy the scene with the Fish-Eater's Anonymous meeting, but that was about it. Disney/Pixar stories traditionally have always worked on three levels. There's the bright colors and animal characters for the little ones that are 2-5ish. The actual story is usually geared to the 6-13 year olds. 13-18 year olds don't usually watch Disney movies cause they think they're uncool. However, when you start watching them again for whatever reason, you begin to notice that the third layer is just for you. Jokes that are above the little ones heads. Whether it's an age gap (they're too young to have seen the material the joke is based on) or a knowledge gap (they just won't understand til they've been exposed to the material) the adults got to have a couple of laughs within the movie. This movie didn't have anywhere near enough of that. It did have me wondering what Walt Disney had against motherhood and mothers in general. Nemo's mom gets eaten in the first three or four minutes of the movie.
After the movie we headed to a neat pizza shop called Vetrano's. The pizza there was really good and I got the added bonus of getting to eat a Hawaiian pizza. I don't usually get to have that around here since very few other people seem to have the stomach for it.

This is another hint to move back to Pittsburgh...you know who you are.


The pizza also kept the conversation to a pleasant minimum so there was no mention of the haircutting trip. (who's talkin' bout herself and not much more whoa-o-oo) After dinner we headed over to the House of Satan. For those of you that know me, you know exactly what store that is referencing. And, as though being in that store wasn't bad enough, we had gone with the express purpose of buying season 4 of this crap. I never did watch any though. I would have if questions had started popping up about the haircutting trip. (So, buy her a beer that's the reason you're here. Mighty Wingman.) I beat Matt a few more times at Trivial Pursuit (though he did win one when I got a little too cocky).
On Saturday we got ready for the wedding. The drive over to Framingham was pretty uneventful except for more questions about the haircutting trip. (You're takin' one for the team so your buddy can live the dream. Wingmaaaaaaaaaaaaan!) We checked into the hotel and our adjoining rooms that we requested were on opposite ends of the 4th floor. So as we headed up to stow the luggage we saw a note taped to the wall from none other than Adam Davis. So of course we had to stop in and say hi.
For those of you that don't know Adam, shame on you. Adam is...well...Adam. He has the voice of a game show host, but manages to pull it off quite well. He's in law school right now at Temple. For some reason they were having a study abroad thing in Rome, Italy. So, he actually flew back from Italy to be in Dave's wedding. As we sat talking to Adam he told us about the rehearsal dinner and meeting some of the extended relatives. He met one of Dave's relatives and the first thing they said to him was, "Dave's full of shit." That is one of the best sentences I've ever heard to describe Dave. Then Dave came in and we chatted a while longer and then everyone left to get ready for the actual wedding.
Jessica, Dave's fiancee, is Jewish. They had a portable chupah for them to get married under. Pat was the best man. Adam and Steve Badelt were also in the wedding party. I also saw ex-Lycos Pittsburghers, Ron Rainville, Frank Treu, Jason Heyd, and Joe Pranevich. The wedding itself was pretty enjoyable. Although when finished the ceremony there was the traditional breaking of the glass. I couldn't help myself. I leaned over and said, "Did anyone else feel sorry for the glass?" And, looking over the vast expanse, I'll save the reception and the rest of the trip and oddities I've seen since til tomorrow.

Alright, missed yesterday trying to get caught up on all the things at work. Anyway, Wednesday was a pretty uneventful day. I worked til noon and then headed down to Primanti's to pick up sandwiches for everyone. Terri picked me up and we headed home to pack the car and ride off into the sunset. I'm telling you, that drive across Pa. gets longer and longer each time. We got into Matt and Alison's at about 11:00 or so. I was greeted by Susie their "new" "old" dog. Susie is 7, but Matt and Alison just got her a few months ago from a friend whose living arrangements were no longer able to accomodate a dog. Susie does what they call "the lean." She'll walk up to you, turn her body towards you and lean on your legs til you pet her. Turns out she's right on my knee level and after 9 hours in the car, she didn't earn any points. But, that's ok. I don't like dogs anyway.
Thursday dawned or rained depending on your outlook. Matt, Terri, and I took Susie for a stumble. It wanted to be a run, but it wasn't. We tried. But, that's ok. I don't like dogs anyway. Terri and I tried to get our hair cut, but walk-ins are only welcome occasionally. So, we were told to come back at 4. Since Matt had dropped us off and went to get a dog license, we decided to walk to the nearby Store. They were closed for inventory. So, we were striking out all the way around. Matt was back by then and he had also struck out. Turns out he needed a rabies certificate that he left at home. But, that's ok. I don't like dogs anyway. Then we headed to the grocery store for dinner ingredients. I know we were in Connecticut, but you could never prove that looking at the magazine rack in the store. The only magazine that mentioned Ct. on the cover was a golf magazine which is a waste of the paper it is printed on. There were magazines for Boston, Rhode Island, and Vermont. I guess even Ct. people don't want to actually be in Ct.

This is your hint to move back to Pittsburgh...you know who you are.

After shopping and not buying Cottage cheese, we headed back to the house to have the Primanti's sandwiches for lunch. Then on to the haircut, but not the Store. Feeling about 5 pounds lighter with no hair, we headed back home and caught up with Alison just back from work. So, we hung out and watched Matt cook dinner and played Skipbo. A very interesting game. Though after Matt and I won several times Terri and Alison just wanted to know when dinner was going to be ready. The rest of Thursday was very laid back. As noted before Matt got his ass kicked several times at Trivial Pursuit and we all went to bed happy. And, on that note...we cue the music, or at least stop for a breather.

Ok, I have returned, but it will take quite a while to get the events of the past (almost a week) into perspective and posted here. So, if you have any questions, just pop up a comment.

It rains a lot up here which is odd considering where I come from, but oh well. Things are going well on vacation. I've maintained my winning streak at Trivial Pursuit by handily beating Matt in 2 straight games. There's talk of a movie today, but everyone's being kind of lazy. Tomorrow we head off to the wedding which might not be.

Damn, I go away for one day and everyone gets wordy.
Since I don't have time at the moment to read everything I'll just make two suggestions.
Give Edzo a chance as head coach and read Dwight's comment on my New Jersey post.

This little paragraph on the imdb made me almost very happy. I love the fact that he not only spoke out against Starsky and Hutch, which, just based on the casting, is gonna be horrible, but he also managed to rip on Charlie's Angels as well.

Original Starksy And Hutch stars David Soul has been forced to eat his words, after being offered a small role in the upcoming movie adaptation. Soul had initially been furious that film studio Warner Bros. were updating the 1970's cop show for the big screen with stars Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller. He had raged last month, "They ain't Starsky and Hutch and to cast them as such cheats a huge audience who grew up with Glaser and Soul in the roles...(It will be) another one of those bad, glitzy action pieces, like Charlie's Angels." However, Soul and former co-star Paul Michael Glaser are now taking a different approach. Soul reveals to British newspaper The Daily Mail, "Paul and I are in talks with the producers about cameo roles in the movie."

I hope that the cameo's fall through. That will be just as sad as Patrick Macnee's cameo in the Avengers movie.

Anyway, one hour and I'm off to Connecticut.

There have been vast rumors of Edzo taking over the head coaching duties for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I'm torn. I feel much the same way that I did when Bryan Trottier took over the New York Rangers. I really want Edzo to succeed, but I'm terrified of the repercussions.
Oh, and even though I voted against them, you can check out my mini-band review of Queen at Craig's blog.

Top 5 on my hate list right at the moment
1. New Jersey
2. Chris Berman
3. The regular ESPN hockey announcers
4. The "new" camera angles
5. ESPN itself
Here's a hypothetical commercial that I think would look good on TV.
"New Jersey, you've just won the Stanley Cup, what are you going to do now?" "Um, well, we're pretty rude and stupid around here so we'll boo the MVP of the playoffs cause he's not on our team."
Ok, hockey is over, but that didn't stop me from reading this completely true article.
Congratulations to the Mighty Ducks for their efforts and for making a post season without the Penguins much more tolerable.
Well, I don't know how the posting will go over the next couple of days. We're leaving tomorrow afternoon and heading to see Matt and Alison in Connecticut for a few days and then all four of us are headed to Boston to see our friend Dave get married (maybe). Why maybe? Well, with Dave you just never know. No, from all indications that we've seen, this girl is good for him and I hope their wedding goes as smoothly as ours did. And we'll most likely get to catch up with people we haven't seen in while. But, all that fun may diminish my connectivity to the internet. I'm sure you can find some other addictive substance to help you cope. I should be back to normal by next Tuesdayish.

I fuckin' hate New Jersey.

This was an interesting weekend. On Friday night I ended up helping a friend of a friend move from an incredible house in Point Breeze (her parent's residence) to a studio/efficiency on the South Side. There wasn't enough room for us to turn around in this apartment, but she's going to live there for at least a year. If you had seen the house she moved out of you would cry. I asked if I could move in since she was moving out. The bulk of her wordly possessions fit in the back of the pick-up truck we were using. Since she had been to my house there were lots of jokes about the size of the truck it would take to move everything that Terri and I owned in one trip. I think it was determined to be roughly the size of Rhode Island, though you may find differing opinions depending on who you ask. Saturday we had to go buy birthday presents for Jacob. He turned 3 on Thursday which was the reason for the Pirates excursion. Then Joe came over and we set out on an odyssey to find a copy of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Well, ok, not an odyssey, but it did take us two video stores with the second being an incredible find. It was a small operation (or at least it looked so on the outside). When we got inside we were overwhelmed by the amount of things that they had to offer. So, we got that and The Big Hit. Now, I don't have the rave reviews of Valance like Joe does, but it was a good movie. I find more and more that I'm not a great big Jimmy Stewart fan. I think that's pretty un-american, but such is life. Wayne was able to save it for me. And, I learned two things. One, where the quote "This is the west, sir. When the legend becomes fact, you print the legend." actually came from. And two, why everyone associates the western use of the word "Pilgrim" with John Wayne. After we finished both movies (after many interruptions for the Ducks hockey game, Go Ducks!), it was about 1 am and Joe headed up to bed. Me and my insomnia decided to see what else was on. Wouldn't you know it, ESPN Classic was running Game 6 of the 1991 Stanley Cup Finals. At 3 am I finally headed to bed.
On Sunday, we headed out to run a bunch of errands before heading to Jacob's party, but that didn't work out so well. The video store wasn't open so we couldn't return the movies. The mall didn't have exactly what we were looking for so that trip was a bust on all fronts. The day picked up when we got to the party though. Everyone had a lot of fun and the swingset that I poured three days of my life into got lots of use. We also ended up making fun of our wedding video later on that night and watched what was supposed to be a really big storm spill about three raindrops and then taper off into a light misting.
Tonight is THE last hockey game of the season. Regardless of the outcome this is it. I don't know if anyone has actually seen this movie, but John Candy has a minor role as the announcer. And all day long his little patter about the game being for the whole ball of wax, the whole enchilada, etc. has been popping in and out of my head. Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. It just doesn't get any better than that (although the Pens being one of the teams would make it easier). However, win or lose I think J-S Giguere has proven himself the MVP of the Playoffs and deserves the Conn Smythe Trophy. Anyway, Let's Go Ducks...one last time.

Ok, I missed the post yesterday. That's ok, very little was going on anyway. There was nothing more to rant about really. No hockey game, no more Pirate rainouts. It was just a fairly boring day in which I tried to clear some stuff off of my desk. Last night, however, was a different story. Mark and Robyn's little boy Jacob turned 3 yesterday. Happy Birthday Jacob! So, we all went to the Pirates game last night. Which, that in itself, is a big step for me not being a baseball fan and all. However, it also meant missing Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. And, with the series being deadlocked at 2 games each, game 5 looked mighty important. So, since I had heard part of the game on the radio on Monday night, I thought that ESPN radio would also be broadcasting the game last night. So, I had Terri find my walkman and some fresh batteries and I was all set to watch the baseball game, but listen to the hockey game. I also had Brian and Tom standing by with their cell phones, sending me updates via text messaging. Thanks to both of them by the way. They did a much better job than any of the services offered online. I not only got the scores, but also personal views of the goals and mistakes. So, not to get off topic, but I found ESPN radio and listened to what I thought was the last five minutes or so of a sports call in show. Then at 8 the show came back. They weren't broadcasting the game and to make matters worse they kept giving me frequent updates of the Pirates game. (Which is to say nothing of what I saw at the game when I first got there, but more about that later.) I thought perhaps they couldn't reschedule the show or some other nonsensical reason and they would cut to the hockey game in the second period. So, nine o'clock rolled around and the sports call in show ended. And, instead of the hockey game what do I get? Inside Pirates Baseball. It was like I was in my own little personal hell. I quickly scrambled up and down the dial, but alas, no hockey game. So, thankfully the updates were keeping me well informed every step of the way. And, everyone had fun at the baseball game so it wasn't a total loss. The Pirates even managed to pull out a win. Which brings me back to the beginning of the game. Mark and I waited outside for his Uncle Rick and assorted family members to show up since we were holding the tickets. As we were walking up to the seats (letting Mark lead was a mistake, I think at one point we were actually in a different zip code) I looked down onto the field. There were several PNC Park groundskeepers watering the infield with a hose. Yes, WATERING THE INFIELD WITH A HOSE. I'm sure the dust factor is a major problem, but if they had removed the tarp from the infield on Tuesday night when we sat there for the rain/no-rain delay, it would have taken the entire game for the infield to become as wet as they made it WATERING IT WITH A HOSE ON PURPOSE. Yet another in my long list of reasons why Baseball is one of the more brainless sports.
On the heels of his reported exodus out of town, Mario became slightly surly with the press yesterday at the opening of his annual golf tournament. The Post-Gazette had this to say about it. And, I'm sure it won't be the last we hear about it. Nor should it. Yes, the economy is shitty, yes there probably is no money available, yes they are drowning in the loans of the previous two stadiums. And yet, both Jim Roddey (the county chief executive) and Tom Murphy (Mayor) said that they were committed to keeping the Penguins here. So, what to do? Well, it's about time that Pittsburgh actually stood up for some of the things it needs and admits that it overspent on some of the things that it doesn't need. Was the old convention center so decrepit that we needed a new one immediately? No, and the new one has actually had more bad press than the old one ever did. Did we need two one-sport stadiums at the same time? No, the Pirates or the Steelers could have easily stayed another season or two or three in Three Rivers Stadium thus stretching out the pain and expense. Three Rivers wasn't even fully paid off. I know, I know, it doesn't have the luxury box revenue. Hmmm, didn't stop the Steelers from selling it out and people certainly seemed to like it. Can't say I've heard the same reaction about Heinz Field. Sure, if one sport deserves a new stadium they all do. But, realistically, they don't all need it on the same day. So, you start with the ailing franchise...Pirates. PNC Park goes up and does wonderful in it's first year. The Steelers still continue to perform well in Three Rivers. The Penguins begin tentative plans for their new building. A year or two after PNC Park comes the new Igloo. A year or two after that Heinz Field. Everyone is happy, no one feels slighted and maybe, just maybe the small market teams in Pittsburgh survive another 30 or 40 years. But no, we had to have baseball only and football only stadium built at the same time, doubling the money, pressure, and wear on the patience of the taxpayers and sports fans in the city. Hockey also has been, and will probably always be the bastard step-child. I don't understand it, I certainly don't like it and I won't perpetuate it. The Penguins have hoisted championship banners up in this city twice. And they've done it in the past 15 years. Which is more than either the Pirates or the Steelers can say. The Steelers and Pirates made Pittsburgh a city of champions and the Penguins carried on, and added to the tradition. Now that they need a little help from the big brother sports teams I hear nothing. I don't hear McClatchy or Rooney standing up and backing Lemieux in his bid to get a new arena. However, when they were lobbying for their buildings the Penguins did issue the comment that all of the sports franchises in Pittsburgh needed new venues to remain viable and integral to Pittsburgh. I think it's time for Pittsburghers and the business' in this city to stand up and take some pride in the city. Bite the bullet and pay some business tax. There is absolutely no reason the city should bend over backwards to accomodate you with tax free buildings when you have plans on vacating the city as soon as the tax free status runs out. Everyone is struggling in the economy. Lord knows, I'd like a little money myself. But, if anyone out there is willing to donate money, get in touch with the Penguins front office. (412) 642-1300. Let's start a fund for the arena. Hell, I'll kick in the first $20.00

Well since I seem to be the first of the three to post about this, my story will stand as the accurate, correct account of last night's events. Tom, Tiff, Tom's brother Joed, and I all attempted to go the Pirates first game with the Boston Red Sox in 100 years. That ridiculous fact aside, the crowd seemed ready to watch the game. 2 hours and 30 minutes later when they made the announcement that the game was cancelled due to rain the crowd seemed ready to lynch the first person with any authority that they saw. So, what do you do for 2 hours and 30 minutes to kill time? Well, in a normal rain delay I'm told that they show stuff on the scoreboard. Clips from past games, world series games, etc. Not at this game. It was turn back the clock night. The scoreboard only showed a graphic of an old fashioned scoreboard. And nothing else. The rain, a light drizzle at best, seemed to be a non-factor. These guys are being payed a lot of money to do their "job." I find it hard to believe that the game couldn't have been played. And, I'm not the only one. Local columnists had this to say. And it's completely correct. Once they removed the tarp from the infield, it would have taken at least three innings before you could even tell it was raining. So, what did they do to entertain the crowd you ask? Nothing. For about an hour and a half. Then some poor guy (who knew what he was in for) climbed onto the dugout in front of us with a megaphone (which had a built in microphone, so much for turn back the clock), and recited Casey at the Bat. If there had been a giveaway that night, this guy would have been stoned to death with said giveaway. Thankfully for him, he was just booed incessantly. Loudest of these came from the gentlemen about 5 rows back from us that seemed to be seeing things for the entire game. Not once did we see Kevin McClatchy (the current CEO and owner of the Pirates), but for some reason this guy either saw him or perhaps thought someone would relay the message. About every 5 to 7 minutes he stood up and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Hey Kevin McClatchy, this is why attendance is down." and various other sentiments all geared towards the owner. See, I would think that attendance is down because Baseball is by far one of the more boring sports, the Pirates haven't won a World Series since 1979, the team is in a rebuilding mode, they don't win very often, etc. Any or all of these would work. Apparently though, this guy thought that the rain delay was the sole reason attendance was down. Oddly enough, it was the first game I attempted to attend this year. So, I think that reasoning is kind of shot. I actually tried to go to the game with the rain delay, so on the nice sunny days when I wasn't there I certainly didn't blame it on Mr. McClatchy. I've never even met the man. Anyway, we spent the majority of the time making fun of Tom so I guess it wasn't a total loss. However, I think I'm gonna start keeping track of the time in my life that gets wasted either through my own bad decisions or at someone's else's hands. So far this morning, I've come up with 337 minutes. 150 mins. last night at the pirates attempt at a game, 101 mins. for the crap that is Two Weeks Notice, and 86 mins. for this crap. I know there's a whole lot more, but that's all I came up with this morning.
Anyway, no hockey tonight, but Tom did send me this. Now, normally I won't give any notice to Mark Madden and his ego (maybe because I've never made the decision on what contains the most fat, his head or his gut), but this was right on target. For as much as I dislike Mr. Madden, he does have a unique way of looking at things and occasionally I find myself agreeing. Especially with the paragraph towards the end where he explains that Pittsburgh should be a little friendlier to those who choose to stay here. And, I got a good chuckle out of this when Ray sent it to me. I can see the first line for the Rangers now. Kovalev, Lindros, and Jagr. And they still won't make the playoffs.

Quack
Quack
Quack
Am I wrong in thinking that the Ducks should just start with overtime? I haven't seen a team dominate like that in quite a while. Just when I was all set to start ranting that I needed to get some sleep the Ducks decided that was enough and scored 39 seconds into overtime. Good enough for me. Since I was working a long day yesterday, I listened to the first period on the computer from a Ducks oriented radio station, or as they called themselves, Orange County's Conservative Radio, found all the way to the right on your radio dial. I listened to the second period on the way home in the car on some random AM station, but this station was broadcasting from a New Jersey perspective. And, to make it just a little surreal, Edzo was doing color commentary. I got home in time to see the third period and the overtime so it was a weird way to watch the game. Oh and if I have to listen to Chris Berman make one more reference to the Hotel California I'm going to make sure he's punted back to where he came from. Hockey is painful enough to watch with the ESPN camera angles and announcers without dragging some jackass in that isn't even connected with the sport for the majority of the season.
Anyway, yesterday came and went and so will the month of June. Not much else is going on. I'm attempting to write a procedure for the consultant so that she can pass it off as her own work. Thankfully senior management is well aware of who does what, or rather, who doesn't do what. Maybe I'll get promoted to something a little more in line with my skill level and closer to the salary I'm looking for. And if not, there's always the option of beoming a high paid escort.
Tonight, if it isn't rained out, which in Pittsburgh is never a given, I'll be at PNC Park watching the Pirates play the Boston Red Sox. Now, I'm not a big baseball fan (tix were given to me by Tom) but I will go to a game or two every year with a group of friends more for the company than for the game. However, on the radio this morning I heard that this was the first time that the Pittsburgh Pirates would play the Boston Red Sox since 1903. 100 years! I found that a little difficult to believe and started asking questions. "Well, there's the NL and the AL and they started interleague play recently and the scheduling was weird and they finally switched things around." No wonder baseball is a dying sport. There are like 500 hundred scheduled games a year for each team and they can't squeeze in one game for every team? There are 82 hockey games and we see everyone at least once. Perhaps they don't play home games with each team every year, but within two years, you can catch just about every single team in the arena of your choice. See, now you know why hockey will always triumph because baseball is dumb. Or something like that.

Let's Go Ducks! Let's Go Ducks! If I had my wish, when they induct Martin Brodeur into the Hockey Hall of Fame (which I would stop if I could), there would be a little interactive TV display right next to his plaque. When you pushed the button it would play the clip of him dropping his stick and deflecting the puck into his own net for Anaheim's second goal of the night. And it would play it over and over and over and over. That would make me happy when I go to visit. Hopefully this evening the Ducks can even up the series at home and gain a little momentum going back to the pit that is Jersey.
This morning my computer lit up with the discussion of Mario Lemieux becoming a New York Ranger. Thankfully before much more speculation went on, Lemieux issued a statement saying that if he was going to play next year, he was going to be a Pittsburgh Penguin. Now we just have to figure out how to convince him to actually play this season. I think his decision will be based largely on the coach that they choose. If he has confidence in the coach and feels that they will be a viable contender, not Stanley Cup caliber, but playoff bound, then he'll take the ice again. I think most of the league is banking on a major shake-up in the CBA coming in September of 2004. Ottawa could certainly benefit, as well as Buffalo. But, since I don't do well at predicting the future, I think I'll just wait with everyone else and see how things turn out.
Today is the first business day of the last month of the fiscal year at the University. That means that we have about 28 days to get everything paid and put into the system. So, I'll be putting in approximately 12-15 hour days from now til the end of June. What fun. The only consolation comes in opening that paycheck when it's all said and done. Not much else is going on today. The weekend was spent getting a ton of stuff done around the house in addition to getting back to a little physical activity. I got to ride about 40 miles on the exercise bike while watching the hockey game and Dover race. I also got a graduation announcement for my cousin Nick. I can recall with clarity when Nick's parents (my uncle and aunt) were married. Which means I also remember with clarity when Nick was born. Now he's graduating from high school. Nothing like getting a reminder that you're getting older. Anyway, congrats Nick!

Quick post today. We actually got out of work early so my normal afternoon slacking was cut into. One thing I did want to mention, other than the fact that I hate New Jersey and the type of hockey they promote, is a question more or less. Is chili a salad dressing?

So, after reading the comment about the length of yesterday's post I decided to see just how long it actually was. 1,268 words. So, I'm verbose, loquacious, garrulous even. Sue me. My opening argument will probably last long enough to get the case thrown out. Anyway, tonight is game two and the Ducks need to look and play a whole lot better than they did in Game One.
This was the topic of conversation for an hour or so today. I'm telling you, if my cat leaps at the screen to catch one of their TV squirrels and breaks my TV Meow Mix is gonna be paying out the tail. And, not that I was scouting for jokes, but when I went to link the previous article I saw this which seems to prove that Philadelphia really is the city of Brotherly Love.
Not much else is going on and I'm looking forward to getting out of here in a few minutes. I want to continue reading the Newsweek article that I started at lunch. It was on the 100 best high schools in America. Not one of these schools is in Pennsylvania. Not one. Ohio, Kansas, Arkansas, even freakin' Alabama had one. Not Pa. My consolation is that for all their bragging, Cherry Hills NJ was not on the list. So, to the people I know from there I bite my thumb at thee, according to this list you got no better learnin' than me did.

Just a quick side note before I get down to the topic on my mind. My office chatters constantly about things that are going on in the world or stuff they heard on the news. They talk about TV shows and cooking and anything else that springs to mind. Today, this was their topic of conversation. Now, I can remember having fights with my parents about not being allowed to do something that I wanted to do, but I think with all the recent happenings in the world new parents should get a checklist. So, when their teenager starts the same argument that I did (you don't love me, you don't want me to have any fun, etc.) they can refer to the checklist. "Did I ever put you in a washing machine and turn it on?" No. "Did I ever try to drown you in the Snake River?" No. Then get back in the house and finish your chores.
Now on to today's, or rather, last night's musings. My parents weren't big sports fans. My father watches racing of all sorts, but for as long as I can remember his version of watching the race included turning the race on, sitting back in the recliner, watching 10-20 laps, falling asleep, and waking up with 10-20 laps to go. So, I didn't grow up pledging allegiance to any one sport or sport's team for that matter. Don't misunderstand me, as someone who grew up in the shadow of Pittsburgh I can remember the World Series in 1979 and the Superbowl in 1980 and the whole "We Are Family"/"City of Champions" deal. However, we didn't watch games on TV or even in person. I got tickets to a Pirates game in the 6th grade for straight A's in some program that they had. My dad and I went. I had to that point never been that bored. In the 5th inning my father got upset when I produced a book and started to read. So, I sold the rest of the Straight A tickets I got. As I got a little older I began to realize that I could do some things that my Father couldn't do. What I didn't realize is that there were thousands of things my Dad could do that I couldn't. And he didn't give an inch which is something I still respect.
I had never seen either of my parents play chess. So, when I learned how to play chess I felt pretty special. I came home bragging to my parents and my dad offered to play a game with me. He played so efficiently and beat me so effectively for about 10 straight games that I thought I had become retarded. Another time, I bought a box of random stuff at a yard sale that my parent's friends were having. Mixed in among the sparklers and marbles was a pair of wooden sticks. So, I asked my Dad what they were. "Those are chopsticks. I used to eat with those all the time when we were stationed in Hong Kong." Now I couldn't imagine anyone being able to eat with a pair of sticks thinner than a pencil. So to prove something either to myself or my dad, I began to practice. Now, I eat quite well with a pair of chopsticks and won't eat chinese food without them. When I found out my dad was a good bowler, I joined a saturday league. It was like a competition for me in some way.
Where is all this leading? Ice Skating. When I was about 12 or 13 I found out my Father was a pretty good ice skater. According to my Aunt and Uncles (his sister and brothers) out of the 7 of them, he was the best. I didn't have the opportunity to test my skating ability until this past winter and let me tell you, there's not a skater gene that gets passed down. I couldn't skate worth crap, although after three tries I could make it around the rink without falling. But enough of my lack of athletic ability, back to the story at hand. So, when I couldn't test my skating ability I began to really respect the people who had. Namely hockey players and figure skaters. Now the two don't go hand in hand and other than the fact that both use ice they have little in common. However, I began to become absorbed by both. In 1988 I was glued to the skate wars of Brian Orser and Brian Boitano in the Olympics. And, when the 1990-91 hockey season rolled around the Penguins had my attention full throttle as they made their way into the playoffs, past the first round...second round...third round and into the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which is where the story comes full circle. I watched all 6 games in the finals that year. And, in the beginning of game six they interviewed a small child as part of their fan bit. "What do you think the score is going to be?" "8-0 Pittsburgh" Most amazing prediction I've ever seen. Last night, with the exception of the interview part, ESPN Classic was running game by game highlights of the Stanley Cup Finals from the 1990-91 season. Watching those clips brought back such a flood of emotion. I could remember my excitement building with each goal in game 6. Since my parents weren't big sports fans, they had gone to bed. I was alone in the living room (back then it was the only room in the house that had a tv) trying to quietly watch the game. When your team goes up as quickly as Pittsburgh did, it's very hard to contain that. So, I ended up running laps around the outside of my house to calm myself down. All in all I think I did about 20 laps around the house that night. 8 for the goals and lots in between periods just to burn off the nervous excitement. And, watching those goal highlights again last night, I felt the same nervous energy building back up. Which is what led to my disappointment. The highlights finished at 8:00 and I quickly flipped over to watch game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals.
Now, I know that since Pittsburgh isn't playing that the level of excitement or energy wasn't going to come anywhere close to what it had been in 1991, but Stanley Cup hockey is always exciting regardless of who is actually in the game. At least that's what I thought til last night. Let me just state for the record. I hate the neutral zone trap playing style of the New Jersey Devils more than I hate the ESPN announcers and camera angles for the games. Watching Minnesota and Anaheim play to a 0-0 regulation tie and Anaheim win in overtime sounds boring. It wasn't. I was on the proverbial edge of my seat for that entire game. If I hadn't had other things to occupy my time, I probably would have fallen asleep during last night's game. I know, a long drawn out story to essentially say...I hate New Jersey and their style of hockey. But I do. I hate it. It gives hockey a bad image. New Jersey couldn't even sell out their arena for the first couple rounds of the playoffs. The most exciting story to come out of New Jersey has been the meltdown of Martin Brodeur's marriage. Although the two Niedermayer brothers make for an interesting side bar. But hell, even their mother is rooting for Anaheim.

It's horrible coming back to work after a long weekend. I guess you're supposed to balance it out with the fun from the weekend.
My weekend, however, didn't get off to all that great of a start. With just over 2 minutes left in regulation the Devils managed to get a goal on Patrick Lalime and down went the Ottawa Senators. So, now I'm a Ducks fan all the way. I can't handle the New Jersey Devils winning the Stanley Cup again, at least not this year. Let's Go Ducks! Game One Tonight baby. And, round 3, like round 1, came out at an even 50%.
Saturday wasn't too bad. We went to a picnic in the afternoon. I knew that it was going to be a young crowd. I didn't know that I was going to be the oldest one there by a decade. Yes, a decade. Wish I had my Geritol. Anyway, we took off from the picnic quickly (I'm pretty spry for my age). Then we spent the rest of the day hanging out with Mitch and assorted relatives. We played pool (all luck I'm telling you), and cards. So, Saturday was a nice relaxing day.
Sunday wasn't bad either. We headed down to my parent's house for a barbecue. So, I got to spend time with my parent's, grandmother, and uncles. All in all it was a good day as well.
Monday I actually got a lot of work done around the house. Which surprised me since there was a M*A*S*H marathon on TV. However, I did manage to locate and catalogue all but one of the episodes of both Snoops and Thieves. So, it was a pretty good day in that respect. And, if anyone has episode 8 "True Believers" of Snoops and episode 3 "Liver Let Die" of Thieves I'd be most appreciative if you let me borrow them. And the Unaired episodes of both would be wonderful as well. Ok, enough with the geekdom, although I did manage to catalogue my Star Wars Lego collection as well. I can already hear you screaming in pain so I'll stop now.

Not much to talk about today, really. It's been a very long day. The day before holiday time always is. The maximum number of people allowed to take off are gone. Everyone else is hoping for an early release, which almost never happens around here. So, I finished up what little work I had planned for today and I've been killing time surfing around for quite a while. Only about a half-hour to go before I can legitimately get the hell out of here. I figured I'd pop on here throw up a couple of sentences and kill a few more minutes. Oh well, maybe I'll have more to say next time.

Well, I realized that I hadn't posted yet today (or yesterday). The stupid communications course crept up on me and subsequently I was almost late for something I didn't want to be at in the first place. Do you think it was too harsh to say that the course taught me absolutely nothing and was a complete and utter waste of my time? So, when I got home all I had planned was to work around the house and maybe finish some of these little tasks that have been steadily building up. Then the call came in.
"What do you have planned tonight?" "Not much, just hangin' out, why?" "We've got something to celebrate, I'll be over at 7 with the cigars."
Such was the phone conversation with Mitch. Now, a host of things ran through my mind, but nothing could prepare me for what he actually had to say. "Today at 9:30 my company told us that our site was closing as of November 1st. Then when I got home my girlfriend and I broke up."
"Jesus, you're just a truck or a dog away from a country song. So, what are we celebrating, exactly?"
Turns out he was at one of those nice crossroads in life and this was exactly the kick in the ass he needed. Good for him, since he says it's good for him. Anyway, we had several nice cigars and a nice relaxing evening in the cool breeze so all was right with the world. Til tomorrow anyway.

Gauntlet--A form of punishment or torture in which people armed with sticks or other weapons arrange themselves in two lines facing each other and beat the person forced to run between them.

Why did I open with this? Well, over the years it has come to mean many things to me. When we were at the mall and needed a little snack, we'd head over to the food court and run the gauntlet of vendors offering free samples. When I was working downtown I used to have to run the gauntlet of smokers to get in and out of the building. So, what does this have to do with me today? Well, it has to do with my ongoing attempt to be a responsible American citizen and vote. When I found out that I wasn't registered to vote at my current address I figured that the paperwork had again been shuffled off to some mysterious black hole and I was still registered in my parent's district. So, after my afternoon meeting let out early, I got a jump on the hour's drive down to my parent's. I pulled into the lot of the building where they vote and suddenly it was like I was on the red carpet at Cannes. I was mobbed by a ton of people each trying to give me some little trinket with their name, elected position, and some clever campaign slogan. After manuevering my way through this particular gauntlet I reached the doors and went inside. Inside you're safe from the people trying to garner your vote with their down home enthusiasm, which, don't get me wrong, is something that I really like. You can actually meet most of the people you are voting for right there outside the office. But, once inside I walked over to the table and gave them my name. One of the ladies on the election board is a friend of my parents and said, "Didn't we process a change of address form for you last year?" I said that they had, but that it didn't work, I wasn't listed. Turns out, I'm not listed in my parent's district either. Apparently I haven't been a good voter because they wiped me off the books. Anyway, the woman called the voting office to find out exactly what was going on. Turns out that the paper work was filed correctly in my parent's district and they had me categorized as moved, but that my current district dropped the ball somewhere in listing me as a resident. So, if I want to vote where I live in November (and that's a might big IF) I have to re-register. Again, I'm beginning to understand why voting numbers go down every year even though the population swells.
On a completely unrelated topic, I was sad to see that June Carter Cash died. She will be sorely missed. And, I'm afraid that Johnny won't be far behind. That will be a sad day in the world of country music.
And again to This all I can say is...It's about time.

I knew this day would come. I have dreaded it. I have been kept up in many sleepless nights praying that it wouldn't happen. It's like the nightmare that you can't wake up from. What could keep me in this sweat drenched terror, you might ask? I hesitate to say. I don't want it to spread. It will be worse than Ebola, SARS, the plague, and small-pox combined. I blame this entirely on Joe. (who probably has someone else to blame it on.) Eventually we may discover the cause...if we live that long. Ok, here it is. And, may God have mercy on all our souls.

Perhaps it is highly unpatriotic of me, but I'm beginning to understand why legions of the American populous don't vote. For those of you that don't know, I grew up about an hour or so outside of Pittsburgh. My parents still live in the same place since 1977 or so and I was extremely proud to vote in my first presidential election in '92. Since then, I've only missed one primary due to work. However, for the past three voting opportunities, I've been trying to update my voter's registration to reflect my change of address. Living in Pittsburgh makes the urge to vote an hour away for people who, on the whole, won't affect your daily life rather difficult. So, when my driver's license needed renewal, I tried to change the registration then. The election rolled around, no change. So, I received a form from the helpful people at the polling office. I filled it out right there, they stamped it and filed it. Election day rolls around, nothing. And, to top it off, an extremely rude woman in the Green Tree office decides that I'm not even worth listening to. She attempts to give me several canned responses to questions that I haven't asked. Granted, I'm sure she's busy, but she is being paid to answer my questions no matter how asinine. So, when I asked her why none of the previous ventures had worked..."You probably didn't do it right." I didn't do anything. I checked the box on my driver's license renewal. In talking with Tom today, he did the same thing. His got changed. Mine didn't. Voting has become a strenuous exercise that I'm not sure I want to engage in any longer.
Ok, that's about as political as I get. Congrats to Jason Spezza for keeping the Sens alive for at least two more days. Hopefully they can tie the series on Wed night. I'd love to see the Sens and the Ducks battle it out.
So, yesterday I write about Brian's Exterra. Today, I log on to my blog and there's an ad for Nissan at the top. I think I'm being catalogued and spidered.
I get in to work today to find out that I'm being pulled in several different directions. The "interim" boss wants me to do data entry. The consultant wants her policy edited. I have work of my own that needs to be done and I'm supposed to leave early for a seminar. So much for a relaxing day to recharge from the highly stressful Service-Oriented Communications class. It was everything I've dreamed of and more. "Can you say Independent Clause?" "Now, who can tell me why using all capitals in an e-mail is not acceptable?" All things being equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. Can't think of anything else that went on. Oh wait, how could I forget. Mitch brought the DVD for the original Matrix over last night. So, I've now seen all of the original. Am I going to rush out and see the sequel? No. I'm beginning to understand why this movie has the complete and total geek following that it does. Anyway, one more off my list of movies to see.

And, since I'm not going to get to post this afternoon due to my Service-Oriented Communication (waste of my time) class, I'll put this little addendum up which should have been included in the first post. I completely forget that Friday night's happenings don't make it on by themselves. Anyway, Brian came into town for the weekend and we headed out to dinner with him Friday night. He just bought a brand new car. The Nissan Exterra. What color you may ask? Bright Yellow, which kicked off the conversation for the evening that's for sure. Lots of comments about Brian driving the "short bus" etc. Then we started talking about color choices and I brought up Mario's humvee. After a few minutes of debating the rust-orange color of his car, we were trying to figure out what Humvee stood for. So, not having the answer I text messaged Tom who is one of the few people I know who has more useless knowledge in his head than I do. His first answer, Human Vehicle. We dismissed that rather quickly and just concentrated on dinner. As I came to find out this morning, he went to Tiff's and made her look up the answer. So once again, I need to thank Tiff for the help that I asked Tom for. Oh, and in case you're curious it originally stood for High Mobility Multi-Purposed Wheeled Vehicle (HMMWV) which somewhere along the way got bastardized into Humvee and later Hummer. So, thanks again Tiff.

Well let's see, just a quick post on the weekend updates. Congrats to the Ducks. They swept the Minnesota Wild in the Conference Finals to enter their first Stanley Cup bid. J-S Giguere posted a goals against average of .22 allowing just one goal from Minnesota. Not too shabby, although I would have loved to have seen a shut-out sweep. On the other side of the conference though, New Jersey went up three games to one on the Ottawa Senators. I'm hoping I'm wrong, but I see the Stanley Cup Finals being an East Coast (Devils) West Coast (Ducks) series. I can't bear to have New Jersey take a Stanley Cup. Hopefully the Giguere can hold them together for four more wins.
This weekend Terri and I did lots of work on Saturday in the jungle that is our front yard. All this rain certainly isn't helping our cause any.
One of the girls at work has been telling me for weeks that I should see the movie Less Than Zero. So, this weekend after the hockey game Brian did his normal trick of bolting to see other people in his limited time in Pittsburgh. Glen, Amy, Terri, and I watched some horrible "international" kid's game show and then decided that since we were being completely lame on a Saturday night we should probably at least do something slightly more normal. So we headed to Blockbuster, the girls looked around for a movie to rent and I headed for the older DVD's. Less Than Zero was in so I decided to rent it. They settled on One Hour Photo and they wanted to getAnalyze That which wasn't in. So, Glen and Amy took off to check their video store for Analyze That and we headed to pick up Rita's Italian Ice for dessert. At the Ice place, I pulled into a slot next to the only other car in the entire parking lot. I was a little crooked, but being the only other car felt rather certain that the other driver could pull out. Apparently I was wrong. This woman headed back to her car and her whole image just screamed, "I'M A SNOBBY PRETENTIOUS BITCH WHO ALWAYS GETS MY OWN WAY." She looked at her car and my car and without even attempting said, "I don't think I can pull out." Thinking I had misjudged the distance I walked around to the other side of my car and realized that you could dock a freighter in the space she had. So, I said, "Really?" Then, just to confirm my suspicions on what a bitch she was, "Do you like your car?" I looked at her point blank and said, "Go back to driving school and pass this time." I then proceeded to get in my car. I shot straight backwards and whipped around very efficiently so that I was pointing in the other direction. But, being on a hill that was slightly slick with rain and in a stick when I put it in first to go forward, my temper got the better of me and for the first time since high school I smoked a set of tires. Completely irresponsible, but the looks on the high school employees of Rita's and the snobby bitch were well worth the few dollars of tire tread I lost.
But the night gets better, or worse depending on which side of the fence you were on. When we got to Glen and Amy's I found out that their video store had also been out of Analyze That. So, what was their substitute, you might ask? Well it was this. The funniest (no, scratch that, funniest implies that there were other funny lines.) line in this entirely forgettable, predictable, hour and forty minutes of complete and utter schlock came from a bit player and might have even been an ad-lib based on the rest of the script. When Bullock, in her own graceful way, tripped over an office plant she looked up at the office boy and told him to get rid of it. He picked it up and said in a very monotone voice, "Yes ma'am, the ficas is fired." 101 minutes for that. No highlights before, none after. And apparently her voice wasn't a put on in Miss Congeniality which is just a damn shame that she always talks like that. That movie, which people say, but you liked it and it has Sandra Bullock. No, I didn't like Sandra Bullock and would have fully enjoyed the movie if almost anyone else was in the lead. That movie was made enjoyable by the secondary players, ie Caine, Bergen, and Shatner. Anyway, avoid Two Weeks Notice at all costs and you'll sleep better. Anyway, back to the whole point of this ramble which is Less Than Zero. Now, don't get me wrong the movie was very good. And, if I get a chance I'm gonna pick up the book for a read to see the stuff the movie left out. The incongruity in my mind comes in from the recommendee. I thought I had the type of movies that she watched pegged pretty well, but this one came way out of left field. This is the girl who couldn't finish Office Space because she just didn't get it. Granted, this office isn't as closely mimicked, but there are similarities. So, I guess I was pleasantly surprised by the movie and the new revelation into a co-worker's mind. Which is a step up around here since most people don't go much below a penny scratch on a lottery ticket. And, that was my weekend.

Alright, I seem to have the comment system under control. That's the explanation for the several short little posts. It just looked better than "Testing" So, this morning with help from Tom, who had to have his girlfriend help him, everything seems to be functioning normally. Not much else is going on today. I'm just ticking down the minutes til I can get the hell out of here for the weekend. Not that I have anything more exciting waiting for me this weekend, but it sure beats being here.
On a completely odd and unrelated topic, the interim boss said that of all the people in the office to dance with, I wouldn't be his first choice. Understandable I guess. Then he went too far. He said that one of the temps, Tony, ranks higher on the list than I do. I'm hurt and insulted and completely clueless as to why I even care.
I received confirmation of the Service-Oriented Communications class (e-mail) that I have to take. The e-mail said that I was scheduled for Monday 19th of May and Wednesday the 22nd of May. Now, I know that I wasn't a math major and can't unravel programming as evidenced by the comment saga, but even I can look at a calendar and see that if Monday is the 19th, Wed has to be the 21st. So, if I had any respect left at all for this class (which I didn't so it doesn't matter), it would have went right out the window there. Attached to the confirmation e-mail was homework. They wanted us to take the example e-mail and correct the grammer and punctuation. Then once we were done correcting the e-mail, we were supposed to write a second draft making it clearer and closer to the point. As I began ripping things apart with my trusty red pen, I noticed that one of the mistakes that they are trying to have you correct involved the verb "to be" Now for anyone who knows anything about Pittsburgh, and western Pa as a whole, they know that the verb "to be" doesn't exist in language here. The car needs washed. The lawn needs mowed. What else needs done? Since most of the employees here are true yinzers how do they expect people to catch that. I also noticed when placing my time out of the office on the public calendar online that someone else going to the class had simply placed "grammer class" in the reason field. I had no idea that they were teaching a class on this. Ok, this just proves that they need to screen the people that are taking this class. How am I supposed to sit in class with this person and not make a sarcastic comment? It will be a true test of patience.
That being said, hopefully J.S. Giguere can write history once again and perform another playoff shutout making the Ducks the first team in history to sweep the conference finals without letting their opponents score any goals. I know, people are saying that it's boring hockey. I find the Ducks/Wild series very exciting and most of it stems around the fact that two Defense first teams are battling one another. The Ducks are playing the game they'd like to play and it's highly entertaining to see the Wild scramble around the ice trying to remember what to do. On the flip side, another game of the New Jersey/Ottawa series with the trap and I'm gonna skip the rest of the series.

Ok, I'm disappointed with the Sens, but hopefully they can even it out on Saturday.

Oh, and congrats to the Ducks. Woo-hoo.

Oh yeah, and I'll add the comments to every single post eventually so that those of you who are dying to make fun of me will get your chance.

Okay, it's been an interesting day. Yacky McNevershutsup here at work has been driving us all crazy today. Thankfully I have big stereo sound blocking headphones and cd's to sink into. And, I finally got a comment system installed. Yeah for me. Okay, okay, yeah for Tom. I still have no idea what I did. But it seems to be working at the moment. Now if I could just figure out how to code it properly we'd be all set.

Hmmm, completely unrelated to yesterday's rant and unintended was the fact that my cd rotation included the soundtrack to Life of Brian. Why does this strike me funny? Well, towards the end of the CD they have Brian's mom talking to him and she says, "Well if that's how you treat your poor old mother in the autumn years of her life, all I can say is, 'Go ahead. Be crucified. See if I care.'" Some will see the irony, others will just say I'm weird. Anyway, hockey went poorly yesterday. Lalime's streak of 2 or less goals in the playoffs was broken by a four goal game effort from the Devils. Hopefully Ottawa can rebound and break New Jersey's unbeaten streak on home ice in the playoffs. On the upside the Ducks play tonight and hopefully will go up 3-0.
I ran into a guy I graduated high school with on the street while I was wandering around at lunch. This guy was one of my best friends in high school, but had some major problems upon graduation. Now both of his adopted parents are dead and his wife/girlfriend just had a baby. There were five of us in high school spanning three grades that hung out regularly. Other friends floated in and out of the group and at one point around 91 after we had all seen the miniseries IT, we ended up likening ourselves to the "Loser's Club" And, we were pretty damn close, though in a high school as small as ours everyone knows everyone else and social circles are redrawn hourly if not more often. However, back to the actual story and gratuitous references to Stephen King. This guy was one of those that you would do anything for, and it was reciprocated. Now, how many of those 5 do I keep in close contact with 10 years out of high school...one. The other three (me being one of the 5) have just faded themselves into the background and it's a mutual thing, no one has time, no effort is made from either side, etc. There are days when that makes me sad. I wish I had the time and money to keep up with everyone that I was friends with at one point. For now, I have to be content to pass information around through different gossip channels and maybe catch up at the reunion. Although the two that were in my grade aren't really the reunion type. Why am I telling you all of this? Actually, do I even know who you are? No, I'm just releasing thoughts that have bounced around in my head for several years through all of the problems that this guy has been through. Alcoholism, death, stealing, jail(?) and lying to everyone at one point or another. It's very painful at the age of 21 or 22 to break ties with a guy you've known since you were 6. That's like divorcing your brother or your parents. Time may heal all wounds, but no one ever says how much time. When I saw his nephew (don't ask, it's a much longer and convoluted story than I care to get into here) at the reunion planning meetings I asked about him. The same pain was evident in his eyes that I can feel in mine. He said something that pretty much summed everything up for me. "That boy was given every opportunity and screwed it up. I don't understand it. It makes me so mad, but if he walked in here right now, I'd probably give him everything in my wallet." I echoed his sentiments and that's what made me think. He invited me to see the baby and it's only right down the street, probably less than 10 blocks away. I'm torn. I want to go, almost feel compelled to go, but can I afford to open myself up for that kind of hurt again?

I've decided that having a departmental meeting is about as productive as spitting into a fan, except that spitting into a fan could be made into a game and therefore have a modicum of entertainment value attached to it. I spend hour upon hour churning out operating procedural documents for the department that are by and large ignored, not used or ridiculed. What exactly is the point? I could just simply go back to the monkey job of data entry, turn my brain off and fit right back in with the lemmings. I often wonder what it would be like to be appreciated for the work that I do and the effort that goes into it. I know that I portray the slacker and god knows I've yet to work a full 40 hour week since I can churn out more work in a short span of time. However, I have written close to 700 pages of a manual that keeps getting rewritten behind my back. When this is brought to someone's attention, the reply is, "Oh, yeah. Why aren't we still doing that?" Perhaps because most people in this department have the attention span of a two year old and that's being generous since Jacob's attention span far outlasts the people in my department. I also feel that I'm portraying myself as a martyr most of the time. Maybe I need to follow Lloyd's advice and I'll go get myself a big wooden cross so that everytime I feel unappreciated for my sacrifices, I can climb on up and nail myself to it.
At least the hockey world is throwing me a bone. J-S Giguere is making himself look like every all-star goaltender rolled into one. Go Ducks.

Ah, time for some afternoon relaxation. Writing this blog has been somewhat of a catharsis for me, not that I've had any great and harrowing experience, but it's a relief to be writing something on a regular basis. No one's going to take a red pen to my blog except me and that's quite comforting. Although, I do get remarks from time to time (and I swear a comment system is coming soon) and it's nice to hear from people. Anyway, enough about that crap. The respective game 1's went well in both the East and the West. Both games ended in overtime in my favor. J-S Giguere is now less than 10 minutes away from the all-time OT shutout record. Since the regular season series between the Ducks and the Wild were all very close, there might be another overtime game in the future and all Giguere has to do is play half a period without letting the Wild score and another of Patrick Roy's records fall. Don't get me wrong, Patrick is a spectacular goaltender (much better than that scrub that plays for the Devils) but it's really nice to see someone else's name for a change. Ray asked today if not having teams like the Red Wings, Avalanche, Stars, or Flyers in the conference finals was going to help or hurt hockey. I think it can only help. It gives fans from other areas the chance to see what the playoffs are like firsthand. The fans in Anaheim, Minnesota, and Ottawa are delirious right now. They can't wait to see what happens. I'm pretty sure I heard that this was Ottawa's first trip to the conference finals and I know it's the first trip for the Wild. I'm guessing it's also the first or maybe second trip for the Ducks. So, these fans are getting their season's worth, that's for sure. Fans in Detroit, Colorado, New York, Dallas, Vancouver, and Philly are watching three teams compete in the finals that simply wanted it more. You always hear sportscasters talk about the heart of the team, well these three teams (I refuse to acknowledge New Jersey since a. They have just now met a team with talent and b. I don't like them anyway) have heart and in the west it's going to be hard to see one of them fall. Ottawa's going to make it out of the East so there's nothing to worry about there.
Enough about hockey. Let's talk Matrix. No, not the club in downtown Pittsburgh, but this whole movie thing that seems to keep everyone enthralled. Everyone that is except me. I saw part of the first one, disliked it and never bothered to go back and watch the rest, nor will I see either of the sequels. I frankly don't understand the hype. I'm extremely tired of seeing the effects rehash from the first one and am steeling myself for the deluge from the next two. Oh well, this isn't the first time I've differed from popular opinion just one of the few inexplicable times.
As for this weekend, it was mostly uneventful. I spent much of the soggy Saturday working inside the house since yardwork was out of the question. In a few days if it doesn't dry up, I'm gonna need Indiana Jones and a machete to help me navigate up my front steps. Saturday was also full of hockey which I already talked about. On Sun. Terri and I had dinner out with my parents, Grandmother and uncles. Then we presented my Grandmother with a new TV for Mother's Day and headed off to Terri's parents house. It was a typical holiday to say the least. Although, everyone, either out of reflex or for some other odd reason kept wishing Terri a Happy Mother's Day. As far as I know they are at the very least 9 months too early. Maybe they're trying to give us some not so subtle hints about grandkids or something. Who knows. I've long since given up trying to explain the rationale behind either of our families.

Anyone reading the past entries saw my little tirade on the e-mail 101 class that we were all signed up for. I pled my case one last time and was denied again. They've sent everyone to this class including a few people that were more qualified to get out of it than I am. And I was told that in addition to taking the class, I wasn't allowed to show anyone up, make anyone feel stupid, answer all the questions, or cause trouble. That's like saying I'm not allowed to breathe. Ok, I can probably suck it up and go to the class and lose 6 hours of my life. But, to not even answer a question or make anyone feel inferior, geez you might as well try and find good tv on the TLC channel. It's almost an impossibility. Oh well c'est la vie, or if you're headed to the concert tomorrow night c'est la mcvie. I wonder if I call off sick, do I have to make up the class? Maybe they'll be buggy work to do, oh wait, I can't use that as an excuse anymore. And, to top it all off, everyone has been making fun of me because of my Manilow t-shirt. Although I did get into a music conversation with someone who actually has more CD's than I do and she arranges hers alphabetically by genre too so either my OCD is catching or I don't actually have a problem.

Like I was saying to my friend Brian yesterday, "If someone would have told me in December that I'd be watching the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim battle the Minnesota Wild in the Western Conference Finals, I would have fallen out my chair laughing." Well, that's exactly what's going to happen starting Saturday. As for predictions this round...I think it's gonna be The Mighty Ducks against the Ottawa Senators in the Stanley Cup Finals. And hopefully karma won't come back to bite me in the ass since I've voted against the Ducks two rounds in a row.

I've noticed that the majority of my entries come in the afternoon when motivation takes a leave of absence. Oh well, nothing I can do about that. It's not like I would work through it or anything. Tonight the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs will be decided and I think I'm gonna score under 50%. Judging from the last two games where they've been outscored 12-3 I don't think Vancouver is going to pull out a game 7 win. They just don't seem as though they want it bad enough. I think I want it more than they do and I'm several canadian providences away from where the game is going to be played (never mind the fact that I can't skate or shoot). Regardless of the outcome of tonight's game the conference finals start on Saturday.
One of the things that I noticed skimming through the entertainment news is that within the next two years there will be two epic films made about the life of Alexander the Great. Now, I guess the subject material could be interesting, but two movies. Then I noticed the casts. For the first one, Oliver Stone is directing Colin Farrell. Well, I can only say that if Farrell brings the same realism to this movie that he did to the life of Jesse James, then we are in for a treat indeed. We may see the first occurence of Alexander the Great driving a Ford Mustang. The second movie is being directed by Baz Luhrmann who brought the magnum opus Moulin Rouge to life. This movie, much like that movie also stars Nicole Kidman. The lead, or Alexander, is being played by Leonardo DiCaprio, who worked with Luhrmann in Romeo and Juliet. Is it his personal mission in life to ruin all epic stories? Oh well, I doubt I'll see either one so does it really matter? And seriously, is Alexander the Great that proven as a box office draw? Me, I'd much rather see this. At least it doesn't take itself too seriously. Oh well, enough space wasted on...nothing interesting. I think it might be time to go back to work now.

Just a quick thought this morning. This has been rattling around in my head since Saturday, but as I was watching TV before falling asleep last night the original X-Men was on. Once again I heard them explaining to Wolverine that the metal in his body is indestrucible. I got that part. However, every time they say the name of the metal, adamantium, all I can hear is "Don't drink. Don't smoke. What do you do?" Some of you will get it and others will just be puzzled. Try here if you're clueless.

Well, the hockey gods have apparently decided that I can only be half right at any given time. If Vancouver can close out Minnesota on Wednesday night, my predictions for the second round will be exactly the same percentage as my predictions for the first round. 50%. I can't answer a 50-50 question in Trivial Pursuit correctly to save my life, but two rounds in a row it looks as though that's how I'm picking them. I called my friend Matt (the big Flyer's fan) last night to confirm the tee-time for the Flyers. He wasn't a happy man and I don't blame him. His team, however, did make it two rounds further than mine did. I saw my last Pens game over a month ago. One thing I realized during my conversation with him (albeit a brief one since he's buried in school work. He's working on a PhD from The University of Connecticut.) is that hockey is set up in a very intelligent manner as far as sports go. Beginning with the opening of the regular season near the beginning of October, you rabidly watch your team all throughout the year seeing all of the different opponents, perhaps attending a few games along the way. You might even find time to scout the other teams if your team isn't playing that evening. All of this leads to the first round of the playoffs which begins in mid-April. Games are overlapping each other there's so much hockey to watch. You're getting a regular fix all throughout the first round. Then as teams are eliminated you begin the second round. There are fewer teams and therefore fewer games, but still very intense since you know that they're playing for the right to compete in the conference finals in the third round. By the time the third round starts, you don't even notice that there are fewer games since each game holds a season's worth of significance within it. This finally leads to the Stanley Cup Finals. Whether it's a sweep or it gets pushed to game 7, you're left feeling exhilarated (unless of course your team didn't make the playoffs). Then just as that is wearing off, the draft takes place. The press surrounding the draft dies down right around the time that the unrestricted free agents being testing the waters. Just as this is finishing up you have the salary arbitration hearings. At the end of that, the press focuses on training camp and you're right back into the regular season. Now, if I could just get ESPN to follow the games correctly instead of their bad camera angles and even worse commentators.
Not much else is going on today. I'm tiring of walking the precarious fence of doing the job I was hired to do and the job I actually enjoy doing. Especially since I'm being tapped for both and one has a deadline attached to it. Other than that work is fairly mundane. I walked over to the greek orthodox food festival at St. Nicholas church today. The food looked really good, but I just wasn't in a lunch kind of mood. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it though. That's all for today I guess.

Okay, as I sit here listening to the Hudson Hawk soundtrack (Hey, I liked the movie), I'm trying to go over the events of the weekend so I can remember all of the wonderful things to tell you nice people. On Friday I had hoped that the Lightning could pull a miracle out of the hat, but they were eliminated. The only bright spot is that there was an NBA playoff game scheduled right after the hockey game. The game went into a triple overtime (I love multiple overtime games.) and the NBA fans had to miss a quarter and a half of the basketball game. That was a good feeling. Tonight there are three possible elimination games. If Ottawa, Vancouver, and the Ducks can win one more, round two is over and it's on to the conference finals.
Also on Friday I said I was off to help build a swingset. And, while that is true I thought we'd be done Friday night. Well, Friday night ended and the set wasn't finished. So, I got up early on Saturday to go back and help. Saturday afternoon rolled around and I had previous engagements so I had to leave with the set still unfinished. Sunday afternoon, Mark and I worked with a determination to finish the set no matter how long it took. Thankfully, we were able to accomplish the goal. Jacob loved it, but man, if there's an extra price for assembly...PAY IT!!!! Or, at least spend four or five hours familiarizing yourself with the directions so that you don't have to take apart all of the things you already put together. One of the crew wasn't big on instructions Friday night. On Saturday, we found that several boards were in the wrong places. So, most of Saturday was spent undoing Friday's work. A good portion of Sunday was spent undoing or re-doing Saturday's work as well. In the end, there was a happy (almost) three year old so that's all that matters.

Also on Saturday, we headed over to Mitch's house to watch the first X-Men movie. Then we headed to the theater to see...you guessed it X2. On the whole it wasn't bad. Not having read any of the comic books or seen the cartoon I'm left to my own imagination on most things. I love the mutant effects, especially the gratuitous use of the Zippo lighter. My Aunt Margaret works for the Zippo factory so anything that keeps them in business is good with me. After the movie we headed back to Mitch's for dinner and ended up watching a movie called American Outlaws. The film, I was told, is loosely based on the life of Jesse James. About the only three things the actual life of Jesse James and this movie have in common are 1.) Jesse and Frank James were actual people and also characters in the movie. 2.) They both, at some point, rode horses. 3.) They both hold up banks. That's where the similarities end. However, it was an entertaining movie at least. And, I did learn one thing from it. Lt. Gen. John C. Pemberton surrendered at the Battle of Vicksburg. That wasn't actually in the movie, but the conversation going on around the movie brought up the question and I looked it up for future reference. Anyway, I think those are all the major weekend occurences and work has been extremely quiet today so I'll just sign off here and stop boring everyone to death.

A bit more on the E-mail class. Not only have I not been successful in my attempts to get out of it thus far (though I plan on prevailing), I found out that the class is SIX HOURS LONG. It's split over two days which may save lives if I ultimately have to take this class. Some one in the office asked me why I was trying so hard to get out of the class. I said, "It's not that I'm trying to get out of something, I have already taken this class. You wouldn't send Emeril Lagasse back to cooking school. Why should I go back for an elementary writing class?" This met with obvious skepticism, most notably the "new guy" saying..."But I'm sure that Emeril takes refresher courses all the time." That may be true. I have no basis to argue that particular point, but E-mail 101 is hardly a refresher course. If I was being signed up for Advanced Character Development in Fiction, I may have a slightly better attitude about it. As I plan on bringing up to the "new guy" (who is a CPA), the next time the conversation rolls around to this, "You wouldn't mind taking a refresher class on the newest tax laws, but you'd be a tad acrimonious (thank you Joey) in replying to a suggestion that you need to go back to Accounting 101. Ok, enough bitterness for today. I'm off to help build a swingset for my buddy Jacob and pray that the Lightning have something left to stave off the Devils.

Hmmm, so what else goes on today...not much. I will say that you need to go vote in Craig Barker's band contest. Though it has already started, it's very interesting to watch the rationale of people voting for their favorite bands. One of today's match-ups included Green Day vs. ZZ Top. Now, not being an overly huge fan of both ( I think I have two ZZ Top CD's and a tape and maybe 3 Green Day CD's and a couple of singles) I was in a flip a coin kind of mode. Then I remembered when the Green Day song, Basket Case hit the airwaves. The three freshmen college girls living on the floor below us would sing that song constantly at the top of their lungs. I shuddered from the memory and promptly voted for ZZ Top. I'm beginning to think that this type of logic is used in Presidential elections as well. Oh well, at least we still have the illusion of being in control by voting. Rock the Vote, baby.

This is a crushing ego blow. I just got an e-mail telling me that I was signed up for a communications class and I could get continuing ed credits if necessary. I looked over my calendar and I had an advanced Purchasing class that I have to evaluate for senior management and a time management seminar. Neither of these seemed deserving of cpe's. So, I started asking questions. I found out that everyone in the department got volunteered for an e-mail class. A class in which they teach you how to write e-mail. I spent 150,000 on my education so I didn't have to take classes like that. I went to my higher up sources to try and pull some strings and they knew nothing about it and were therefore powerless to save me. I'm now going to have to sit in a class full of people that actually need the assistance and try and occupy my time. It's gonna be like grade school all over again. Maybe I'll be able to log on to the blog.

This falls under the heading of taking things too far..
The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim will not play the Star Spangled Banner before their home games because the song contains the word Stars and their opponents the Dallas Stars may derive some sort of motivation from that. I have decided that I will now no longer play the Barenaked Ladies song, "One Week" because it contains the word 'wasabi' and I want to discourage people from eating sushi. High Fives all around. Take that Dick Shawn.